The Ex-Negro Ministry
We are standing for the truth that Negroes can change. If you love someone, you will tell them the truth.  Calling Negro behavior sin, is not anti-Negro, it's pro-us...
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Church Leaders Fly to Nigeria After receiving Urgent Request for Financial Aid
Pastor Deacon Fred, along with thousands of other Landover Baptist members, received an important e-mail message from Basher Mobutu, son of the late President of Nigeria, Mobutu Sese Seko...
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Swarms of Africanized Killer Bees Invade Freehold!
Mrs. Alabaster told reporters, “My blue-eyed, blonde-haired baby, John Jr,. walked in the house, his upper body swaying side to side, with this swaggering look on his face and said something like, ‘Yo-yo-yo, ol' Lady, sis and I are splittin’ this jive...
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Brother Harry Discusses Christian Tolerance With a Negro
And how dare you suggest we are exploiting the Mexicans and Negroes in our employ! Every single investigation performed by both state and federal entities has uncovered no evidence of that. Just ask one of our New York Jew lawyers...
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Learning to Treat Negroes Like Human Beings
There are large primates that live on the jungle floor and scare missionaries, who, being Christians, are armed against them. They are called gorillas. There are even primates that rob liquor stores, organize marches and attempt to imitate human speech...
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American Christian Heritage Month™: The Lost Treasure of Slavery
I remember I was just starting out as a young preacher here when federal marshals raided our community in 1971 and told us that we had to start paying our black servants.  Those were some tough times, my friends. To lose such a...
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Popular Game Show Forced to Dumb Down and Make Room For, "Yo, I Wants To Be Millionaire"
The nation's 33,347,718 Negroes took enough time away from filling out lottery tickets Monday to file a class action lawsuit against Disney, parent company of ABC, which broadcasts the wildly successful "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" The crux of their complaint is that the program discriminates against blacks by asking questions only people with an education could be expected to understand...
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She's White; Coby's Black. Case Closed!
It appears that a major figure in professional basketball who, needless to say, is the Negro, actually had sex with a little white girl in Colorado [gasps from the congregation].  Don’t you know that dear...
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Uppity Negro Falsely Accuses Church of "Racisism"
"The Salvation Security Act" is a bill intended to save all natural born or naturalized Americans (unless they are Mexicans who snuck in and are, therefore, exempt from honoring immigration laws applicable to everyone else) (hereinafter "Real Americans") from the eternal fires of certain damnation at the hands of the Lord who loves them ...
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Was Jesus Black?
The Landover Board of Deacons answered this question with a resounding “No” Monday night. As all church members know, every Monday, the board discusses one of the seemingly countless inexplicable theological quandaries presented by the Good Book....
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A Tribute to Strom Thurmond: The Last True Christian™ Senator
Like Ronald Reagan, he had unfortunately lost much of his grasp of reality at least a decade before he retired from politics.  But just as Reagan served our great nation through eight years of dementia, so, too, Thurmond was ever-present in the....
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Rappers Stealthily Recruit Innocent Christian Children Into the Negro Lifestyle
Innocent American Christian children are being recruited into the Negro lifestyle faster than Jesse Jackson can make up a new word.  Christian experts say...
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Church to Require Fidelity of Ex-Ministry Graduates
Ex-Negro, Robert Wallace (formerly Rufus Washington) was caught in a soul food convenience store in Chicago.  He was spotted by several militant Negro activists who photographed him.  Wallace reported that he had simply...
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Kwaanza: Ghetto Slang For Murder!
Having never been in a Negro neighborhood, much less a Negro home, the Ladies had no idea what to expect --except the worst. After an ear-piercing hour of profane tribal music, grape soda spritzers made with Thunderbird...
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Colored Baby Jesus Shocks White Churchgoers
Indeed, the handsome little baby Ebby Smith had been replaced with the dark-as-an-eight-ball Ice "Puffy" Playa Jefferson, a 6 month old Negro child belonging to maintenance workers, Moesha Lois and Jeremiah Jefferson Sr....
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