We Hate Satan!
The Landover Baptist Outreach Ministries Staff
Dr. Jonathan Edwards
Dr. Frederick Fingers
Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S
Brother Bobby-Joe
Elmer T. Jenkins
Brother Bobby
Richardo Frezno
John 'Lucky' Zhivago
Mrs. Theodore Tanner
Butch Webster
Kate Bond
Ben O'Christian
Packy 'The Bull' Donner
Dink Guthrie
James P. Adair MA
Sue Beth Mabel
Mrs. Satin Macy
Larry J. Hardwick
Pastor E. Pistle
Rhonda Johnson
Dr. Albert Entwhistle
Youth Pastor Gary
William Hicks
Pastor Emertius A. Hect
Tim the Talking Parrot
Billy the Puppeteer
Gary Jackson
Brother Bobby-Joe Tabor

Church Security

Brother Bobby-JoeBobby-Joe Tabor was born into a hell-bound blue collar Catholic family in Butler, Pennsylvania. A typical sinner he was a registered Demoncrat and foolish enough to think unions were anything but Satan’s way of destroying America.  BJ married his high school sweetheart Trish and settled down into a sinful, un-Christian life of hourly work without ever once giving thanks to Jesus for what he had.

Even in the face of cold scorn from BJ, Christ was not willing to give up on him. Jesus allowed a demon to possesses BJ’s wife Trish while she was reading Hilary Clinton’s biography. Driven hopelessly insane, the demonically possessed Trish attacked Bobby-Joe leaving him almost dead and their apartment on fire. Our beloved brother in Christ was pulled from the fire by a lily-white angel and the police apprehended his demon-possessed wife, but not before she went on a state-wide killing spree which made national headlines in 2001.

After personally experiencing the toxic and deadly effects of liberalism first hand, Brother BJ realized that Jesus was his only hope. He did a keyword search for True Christian™ on Google, sent Pastor Deacon Fred a request for a map to Freehold, Iowa, hopped into his pick-up truck and drove to the promised land.

After arriving in Freehold, BJ found a wireless connection at the local Baptist Coffee Shop and took a 4-hour Landover Baptist Accelerated Christian University degree program on his lap-top computer. 6 Cups of coffee later, at 5 PM that same day, BJ received a Master's Degree in Christian Criminology.

BJ now works as the Supervisor for Landover Pastoral Security Services. He was granted the title "Honorary Pastor" after contributing his life savings to the Church and taking a test for accuracy at the Landover Baptist Rifle Range. BJ now lives quietly with on a six-figure tithe-based salary in a modest twelve bedroom executive home in Leviticus Landing. As a new believer, BJ insists on living with minimal Christian necessities, so he suffers for the Lord with a staff of only five servants, one swimming pool and the back view overlooking the green on Hole 7 (Par 3) at the Landover Regional Golf and Country Club.

When his work permits BJ loves to help unsaved folks found loitering around the Church campus gates learn to appreciate Christ’s love by taking them on intervention hunting trips through the woodlands and mountainous regions of Freehold, Iowa. Some of the folks BJ takes on his intervention trips come to know Jesus as their Savior, some are never heard from again.






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