 Born in a nondescript
Midwestern town, little Ernest had a love of all things scientific. Whether playing with an anthill on a hot Saturday afternoon or mixing vinegar and baking soda after lessons, his scientific prowess was one to behold. At the tender age of 11, he successfully launched a self-designed firecracker through the open doors of a Catholic church, much to the chagrin of the priests hard at work to hypnotize their altar-boys.
Following his parents' deaths, a 17-year-old Ville received a generous cash settlement paid by the town for having lead paint in the walls and excessive voltage flowing through their power lines. Soon after, the young man began to attend meetings at Landover's Men's Meetings, and found that they encouraged him to seek the
Truth™ in his work.
Proud never to have stepped foot in a public school, Ernest was accepted into and earned his bachelors in Microbiology at Bob Jones University. Immediately upon graduation Summa Cum Laude, he assumed the position of Director of the
Creation Science Department at Landover Baptist, whose previous director had been sadly unable to find a bronze statue of a snake after being bitten by an asp. Mr. Ville's prowess immediately impressed the staff at Landover, and he was awarded a Doctor of Creation Science degree within 90 days of joining the department. Within the year, yet another degree had been bestowed upon him, for his untiring work in discovering just which kind of soil each race was made from.
Today Dr. Ville lives a comfortable life, traveling the country to give lectures on that which he knows best:
Creation Science. His modestly-priced appearance fees, combined with generous grants from a wealth of colleges and universities including such names as Liberty University, Regent University, and Pensacola Christian, as well as generous grants from George W. Bush's innovative science plan ensure that his labs contain the latest equipment in pristine condition.
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