If
You've Got Something in Your Pocket That Says, "In God We
Trust," On It, Please Send It To Your Local Church Where It Belongs
If you trust in
God, then send us everything you've got with "In God We Trust"
written on it before it's too late! We're asking you to dig as deep as
you can into your pocketbooks or take out a pen and add a few zeros to
your checks, folks...
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The
Six Levels of Tithing and Where on Earth is Jesus Spending All That
Cash?
By law, we are required to
disclose where the Lord Jesus Christ is spending the money you drop into
His offering plate each week in the form of Biblical "tithes."
You already know, the more you tithe, the better your seat on Sunday
morning...
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The
Shepherd's Purse: Landover's Public Disclosure of Fiscal Assets
This information is provided
solely to members of Landover Baptist Church pursuant to clause
8(D)(iii) of the Landover Baptist Secured Tithing Contract. All
adjustments made through the Direct-Withdrawal Tithing ® program
are noted...
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Pastor
Deacon Fred and Betty Bowers Fly to Nigeria After Receiving Urgent
E-mail Request From Estranged Son of Late President, Mobutu Sese Seko
"As a real American,"
Pastor would latter recall, "I would have no reason to ever go to
an uncivilized country like Africa.
But as a Christian, I was curious to return to the Garden of Eden
where the Lord had first given man a paradise – only to snatch it back
from them in an angry rage...
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The
Plan of Salvation: Now Only $239.00! (Special Limited Time Offer)
If
you are Unsaved, This is YOUR DAY:
Now for a limited time, receive our Certification of Eternal Security.
This exclusive offer gives you access to special Landover Baptist Church
events on Judgment Day Evening...
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Good
News for Needy Families: We Buy Children!
This is a tough
economy. We understand that people are suffering because of what
Bill Clinton did, and sadly, American families will continue to suffer
for many years until President Bush can fix the mess Clinton made of the
country...
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18.2%
Tithe Increase Leads to Implementation of "E-Z Slide" Credit
Card Offering Plates
The beautiful gold offering
plates are equipped with credit card slide and approval on demand slots.
Church members who do not have cash on hand will now be offered the
option of pulling out a credit card and simply sliding it through the
plate...
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$2.5
Billion In Christian Funds Secured to Develop, "Salvation
City"
Pastor Deacon Fred stands in
front of a scale model of Landover Baptist Development Corp.'s newly
announced Saved City July 1, 2002 in Freehold, Iowa....
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Win
Free Tickets to Church!
Act now and get 12 hours of
Platinum Tither Level Treatment at no extra cost (check, "box
seating package" on your Salvation Evaluation form...
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Arabs
Available for Purchase at Annual Household Help Auction
This year's auction of
minorities willing to pick vegetables, shingle roofs and perform
pedicures on the obese has been postponed until July 6th so that Arabs
can be rounded up and included in the merchandise....
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Landover
Elementary Redeems 50 Sudanese Slaves, Turns a Handy Profit
When
Landover Baptist Elementary School teacher, Mrs. Kathryn Karcher read an
article about the abduction into slavery of the Christian Sudanese her
5th grade class was moved to tears and vowed to do whatever they could
to help...
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Church
Members Donate Useless Junk to the Needy as Tax Year Draws to Close
There are only 30 more days to
find tax deductions. As all saved people know, the Lord God wants the
Godly to give their money to His church and not send it to Washington,
D.C., where it would be used to pay for minority abortions and gay
marriages...
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For
$50, We Will Burn Your Debt! Praise God!
Just send your Debt Envelope,
along with a $50.00 check or money order to cover the cost of this
amazing Christian project to...
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It's
Not Gambling If It's For Jesus!
“This whole thing is just a
great opportunity for vacationing Christians to give a little bit back
to Jesus and have a whole heck of a lot of fun doing it,” laughs
Pastor Deacon Fred, the...
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Accept
Jesus Christ as Your Savior and We'll Throw in a Free Digital Phone!
Exclusive
one time offer with the New True Christian™ Advantage plan. Remember,
you've got nothing to lose, except your soul...
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Salvation
Evaluation Committee Expels 21 Church Officials
While overall expulsions are on
the decline, this year’s audit resulted in termination of the largest
number of deacons and Sunday school teachers ever expelled in a single
calendar year. The
following list...
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Plans
Underway for $104 Million All Purpose Multi-Temple
The
temple will serve a variety of purposes, the first of which (of course)
is to Glorify our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. The second is to
entertain major donors, the thrird will be for indoor sports, and other
activities...
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Landover
Baptist Visa Card
Available for church members
only! This handsome VISA card speaks for itself. What a wonderful
witnessing tool for those of us who travel to other towns or communities
in Iowa. When you pull out your Christian VISA to make a purchase,
you open...
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Absolutely
Free $5,000 Christian Cruise!
For
a small donation of *$5,000 per couple, you are welcome aboard this
year's complimentary free cruise for new Christians. We expect over
2,500 of our new converts (babes in Christ) to join us aboard the
Landover Baptist Royal Diadem for a Mediterranean tour of the
Holy Land...
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