 Ona
Mae Moffett, that joyful minx, is the Ladies of Landover resident
sharpshooter, weapons expert, demolition master and bake-off winner.
Ona Mae, widowed since 1964, was completely cleared in the shooting death
of her husband, Landis P. Moffett. She still says that he should have
told her that he was a sleepwalker.
She has answered many an emergency call to arms for Landovarians, and has
personally erected the perimeter fence that protects the outreaches of
Landover Baptist.
Ona Mae is not all business; though childless herself, she has provided
hours of entertainment for the children on patriotic holidays by firing
multicolored shells in her mortar or bazooka. She humorously dismisses
the charges of careless discharge of weapons that outsiders sometime level;
she says, with a sly grin, "that sucker shoulda ducked".
Our Mrs. Moffett is also at home doing domestic duties: she sews the
fabric covers for her mortar rounds herself, and has been known to bake skeet
discs for the Baptist Men's Annual Barbecue and Shoot Off. And her
annual baking of cookies and cakes for the fall and spring lashin' and lynchin'
parties are widely known. How she bakes a cake in the shape of a
howitzer is beyond us! And it fires, as Matthew and Mark Servant can
attest to.
Ona Mae Moffett is a member of the Order of Baptist Extremists (OBE),Baptist
Marksmen (BM) and has applied to become a Card Carrying Baptist (CCB).
Her beautiful low contralto voice is often used in our holiday presentation to
represent the voice of God.
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