Sister Mary Maria was tested by the Lord from birth when He had her born into a Hell-bound Catholic family.
Her Pope-loving family were so addled by idolatry they named her after our Savior's incubator not once but
When she reached adulthood, Mary Maria was so confused about her identity that she entered a
cloistered nunnery and stayed there for several years, where she participated in unnatural and unholy abominations. One day, a priest, taking time from diddling
a young altar boy, stopped by the convent and dropped a King James 1611 Bible
by the furnace with the intent of burning it that evening along with some
boys' stained undergarments he had collected that week. Mary Maria found this
Bible and was prompted by God to open it up. That was the beginning of her salvation, and she shortly left the convent and the
Hitchhiking her way home, she was picked up by Deacon
Wilkins of the Landover Baptist Church who ministered to her in the back
seat of his Lincoln Town Car. He brought her to Freehold where she made her new
home. With the help of Jesus and many hours of private devotionals in Pastor's
study, she soon started to prosper.
Mary Maria, inspired by the Holy Spirit, invented the Born-Again Baby Dolls that come with birth certificates and scripture to help young True Christian™ girls grow up to be Godly wives and mothers. The latest dolls come with nightgowns embroidered with:
Thank you Jesus that my mommy didn't abort me, and are available in
fine True Christian™ stores everywhere. Mary Maria no longer owns the company
she founded though, as she transferred ownership over to the Godly husband she met at Landover, Mr. Joseph Whitford, a successful ex-sodomite graduate of
Betty Bowers' B.A.S.H. ministries and the owner of a large chain of hair salons and barber shops.
Currently, Mrs. Whitford now cheerfully submits to her husband and wants
only to make him and Jesus happy by bearing as many sons as God will bless them with.