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Why Do Mexican Women Like Mrs. Sotomayor Have Hairy Legs Like My Dog?

CHRISTIAN KIDS WANT TO KNOW!

Dear Pastor,

This morning our Sunday school teacher told us that president Obama made a Soda Mayor into a powerful Juge!  And that she is a mexican, just like Lucy Ya who cleans our house!  I have lots of questions about sodas and mayors because I like Dr. Pepper and I don't want to stop drinking it.

I also wonder why Obama is juging people when the Bible says thou shall not juge. 

But my biggest and imported question from what i learned from my Sunday school teacher is that WHY? Why do mexican women like Mrs. Soda Mayor have hairy legs like a dog?

Timothy Brownsworth
Landover Baptist Sunday School
Age 15

 

Dear Timothy,

Thank you for your letter.  At such a young age, you have already developed an interest for current events! 

In Isaiah 3:17, we learn that one of God's countless mood swings resulted in a collateral miracle. He basically shaved every single hair off the bodies of his female followers in a split second, without using a razor because some ladies in town were wearing bells on their toes and walking funny.  We call it the "NAIR verse" here at Landover Baptist.

"Because the daughters of Zion (True Christian™ Females Today) are (were) haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet: Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion (True Christian™ Females Today), and Jehovah (God) will lay bare (Shave) their secret parts (Legs).   

 -Isaiah 3:16-17

This Bible verse teaches us that God shaved every last hair  (except for the head) on the bodies of His female followers just because He didn't like the way they dressed and walked! 

Nowadays, True Christian™ females keep their secret parts bare in order to keep the Lord's nasty temper in check.  

So the answer to your question about why Mexican women have hairy legs like a dog?

Any woman who has a single hair on  their body, except for on their head (1 Corinthians 11:15) is abhorrent to God.  The Lord hates hairy females! It reminds Him of the funny walking women in the Old Testament. 

Rebellious females, like Mexican women, allow hair to grow on their legs, under their lips and about their most secret parts.  It is either because they can't read English (The Holy Bible), and don't understand how God wants them to look - or it is because they hate God and let hair grow on their legs as a sign of their commitment to Satan. 

Mrs. Sotomayor is guilty on all counts!  As such, she is living in rebellion against our Holy God. She must confess Christ and shave her legs or she will spend eternity in Hell.  

Pastor Deacon Fred
Landover Baptist Church

P.S. Since you attended a very advanced Baptist Sunday School class, I think you need some explanation in order to understand what you've learned . You will have all of your other questions answered. 

First of all, you misunderstood the pronunciation of a foreign name.  As you see from my response, your teacher was referring to a very hairy Mexican woman called, "Sotomayor."  You can keep calling her whatever you want to though.  As Americans, we speak English, and you shouldn't give a lick about any other language. The Bible was written in English - and that's what Jesus speaks.  We'll be speaking English in Heaven, so it's a waste of time to learn how to speak in any other language.

 

 

 

 



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