¹ Neither went I up to Jerusalem to them which were apostles before me, but I went unto Des Moines where I was judged by foolish men who understood not the power of God's living word and the obvious effect it has on little children with wild imaginations.  ² I beseech the tithing, sanctified members of the Landover Baptist Church (hereafter: Christ's Body) for your prayers and financial support.  I, as your most faithful servant of Christ, find myself incarcerated in the Fort Madison County Jail for a spiritual crime committed not by myself, but by the Holy Ghost, who upon hearing my sermon on the evening of Wednesday, May 12th did enter the heart of an unsaved child and cause that child to commit an unspeakable act upon himself for the sake of his own salvation.  ³ What the Holy Ghost does after he hears one of my sermons, is NOT my responsibility!  I am His patsy - for the sake of the Gospel!

⁴ I was taken from my home against God's will and torn from the embrace of my loving, screaming and distraught wife within a fortnight of my sermon. ⁵ By the grace of God and one phone call to a Christian congressman who owed me a favor, I was spared the horror of prison sodomy and placed in a solitary cell. ⁶. After much pleading, I was given a Bible, with which  I continue to win souls to Christ while I am being persecuted in jail by the the State of Iowa.  

⁷ It is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise and bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent." 1 Corinthians 1: 19.  It is with the reading of this verse, coupled with an obscure verse from the Holy Bible (which legal council has advised I not put in print on the same page) that resulted in a family tragedy involving a book of matches, lighter fluid, and an unsaved boy's penis. And that's all I know about that!

⁸ Now this I say, that every one of you who were not present during my Wednesday evening sermon, I am behind bars because I, a Christian Citizen of the United States of America read verses from the Holy Bible. That is a matter of fact by faith. And this is the real reason I am being persecuted in prison. Let no man tell you otherwise. 

⁹ Through the grace of God, I was able to reveal some additional facts about my persecution on Facebook before my incarceration. ¹⁰ I thank God for my Facebook friends, which continue to hold me in their deepest prayers. Through my every word, may you be enriched by Him, in all utterance and in all knowledge. And may the Lord God lead you to delete your responses to any of my posts that could jeopardize my release from jail.

¹² Grace be unto Brother Harry Hardwick, who is being sent unto you in my absence to preach the marvels of God's word carefully on my behalf. ¹³ Grace be unto Edna Denkins, a woman of Christ who is delivering this letter into the hands of those who can make it public to our church members.

¹⁴ I certify that you have heard of my plight, and through your steadfast prayers and financial support, and the help of several Jewish lawyers, I will return to Freehold, Iowa to preach the gospel, quickened by the grace of my suffering for the namesake of Jesus Christ!

¹⁵ Like the apostle Paul before me, I ask the Lord to unleash the sacred silver cords that bind the angels of release from their slumber.  ¹⁶ May He send the very same angels he sent to my brother Paul to release me from these steel bars, so I might return to you hastily in time to preach at Landover Baptist's 11 A.M. Sunday morning service.