INTERNATIONAL ACTION ALERT!

INTERNATIONAL NEWS!

Port-au-Prince, Haiti - The Haitian government is in a chaotic state, now targeting numerous Baptist Mission groups for persecution. We learned today that a group of 19 Landover Baptist Church members are being held in Port-au-Prince after trying to take 125 children out of Haiti.

The church group, most of them from Iowa, allegedly lacked the proper documents when they were arrested and handled in an uncivilized manner at 2 AM on Friday night in a bus caravan along with Haitian children aged two months to 16 years who had survived the earthquake. When police officers asked them for documents, group members held up their Bibles and said, "We're working for Jesus! And the Son of the Living God does not require any documentation!"

The group said they were setting up a makeshift facility across the border in the Dominican Republic where they could wash and bathe the children before shipping them back to their church compound in Freehold, Iowa where they would be auctioned off as Christian servants, or "Haitian Helots" to the highest bidder.

"You would think that with all the chaos this stupid Haitian government would be happy to allow their children the opportunity to live a life of decency in the service of privileged American Baptist families," said group spokesman, Pastor Deacon Fred.

The Landover Baptist Church's, "Haitian Help" ministry, formerly called, "Helping Hamitic Haitians Through Holy Helotry" was described as an effort to save the precious souls of abandoned children of color in Haiti, provide them with proper church attire, and ship them off to central Iowa to enjoy a life of privileged Christian servitude. They wanted to take 125 children by buses to an abandoned 10-room motel in the Dominican Republic that they were converting into a "soul and body cleansing" facility for Holy Helotry, one church member told the AP.

However, the Landover Baptists, who are Americans – the second to be taken into custody since the 12 January quake – have caused a political firestorm in Haiti, where the selling of Haitian children has been suspended because officials are unable to collect and manage the funds normally exchanged to them by American Baptists during these transactions. 

"I don't see what the big deal is," said church leader, Pastor Deacon Fred. "We've been operating this Helotry mission in Haiti for the past 20-years, and this is the first time anyone has said anything about it. We have wealthy Baptist families who have ordered these children and Glory to God, if the Haitian government has learned anything over the last 20-years its that they don't want to keep one of our Platinum Tithers waiting!"

Deacon Fred said the group, including members from Freehold, Iowa and Leviticus Landing, Iowa, only have the best intentions. "We don't pay a dime for these children!" said one group member. "We never have! We have a few Haitian pastors on our payroll, of course! They secure the children, we drive by in a bus, pick them up, and in Haiti - they are never seen or heard from again. It's that simple! 

"What I want to know is how the Haitian government is going to compensate our ministry for causing these delays," said Pastor. "We had three auctions scheduled next week, and there a lot of angry, wealthy church members who support this ministry with their financial love offerings and are waiting for one of these precious little pickaninnys to clean their anointed dishes!"

The US Embassy in Haiti sent a consular official, who also happened to be a tithing member of the Landover Baptist Church to meet with the detained group to set them up in a luxury hotel and spa resort in the Dominican Republic until their trial, according to the 27-year-old daughter of two detainees who has been in touch with her parents.

"They will go in front of a judge on Wednesday," Pastor told the Associated Press. "The issue now is finding out the name of that judge and getting the proper amount of money into his hands so our people and our property can be released in the Name of Jesus Christ!"