NATIONAL CHRISTIAN ACTION ALERT!
Is Soccer a Sin?
You BET IT IS!!
READ THE FACTS ABOUT SOCCER!
Baptist missionaries have brought it to the attention of American
Baptists that the uncivilized country of Africa has invited soccer teams
from every other uncivilized country in the world to come visit
them in the southernmost tip of their filthy continent to compete in a
so-called "World Cup Competition."
Baptist researchers have learned that the
Africans even had the audacity to invite Americans (civilized
people) to their competition, and make them compete with England
(formerly civilized people). This arrangement was made in order to make
the so-called "sport" of soccer appear "credible" to civilized people.
No doubt they will fix the game so that both teams "tie" their first
match, making everyone just as happy as a hell-bound homo.
As researchers at the Landover Baptist Institute
for the Enforcement of Biblical Morality learned more about the World
Cup Competition, they were given permission to turn on a secular
television station other than Fox News for research purposes. After the
initial shock of seeing more hairy naked legs than any of them would
have seen in a lifetime, it became obvious that the sport of Soccer was
rapidly growing in popularity among civilized Americans. As such, it was
apparent that the Landover Baptist Church must once again come to the
rescue of American decency by using valuable web-server space to host a
page where we do nothing but repeat simple facts that should be obvious
to every God fearing American.
Shocking Facts About Soccer:
- Soccer promotes Socialist and
Communist values. Every little sissy boy on each team is treated
equally and functions a part of a "group" (or ideological socio-economic system). They all do the same
monotonous thing - kick the ball and run. There is no room on a
soccer team for individuality.
Soccer players wear short pants and expose nakedness up to 6
above their thighs. This can cause other players or those watching
the sport who are weak in the flesh to lust and sin in their hearts.
- 95% Of the people who watch Soccer are
European, also known as "Alcoholics." The only way a human
being can sit through an entire match of this boring sport is to be
drunk! And that is just plain SAD! Satan just loves it!
- Testicles often
flop out of soccer players shorts while they are running. Women and
children watching the game are exposed to this! In most soccer
playing nations it might be normal for people in the jungle to run
around naked, but this is happening on American television and it
must be stopped!
- FIFA renamed
Soccer, "Football" after seeing how popular American Football is.
They in fact illegally "stole" the name, "Football" from Americans
without even asking permission from the NFL.
- At the slightest
contact, soccer players fall down and roll around on the ground,
wincing like yellow-bellied cowards hoping someone will come and
touch their naked legs so they can get a cheap thrill.
- It is an outward
(physical) manifestation of ignorance and stupidity to only use
one's feet while playing a sport.
- Soccer games are
often finished with a "tied game." This is a complete waste of
precious time and it shows that there is no merit to the game at
all. Even a Mexican or a retarded person knows that a game always
ends with a winner or a loser!
- Soccer is a sport
that is completely obsessed with human feet. Although the feet are
covered by shoes, players often slap at each others feet in a
fetished frenzy. Soccer actually evolved from the English game
"Let's Play Footsie!" which is still played by Nancy schoolboys all
over England. Baptist research indicates that "Playing
Footsie" often leads powder-puff little gay daisy boys into choosing
to participate in an even more dangerous game later in life. That
game is called, "Sodomy!"
- Many soccer
players grow their hair long, to appear like women - which is a sin.
- There is no room
on a soccer team for anyone to feel like they are left behind, or
not participating like a Godly outfielder in baseball. Being "Left
Behind" is paramount to promoting American Christian values (see the
entire book of Revelations). If there is no one left behind, the
Bible becomes irrelevant.
- Soccer coaches are
not required to read from the Bible and pray to the Lord Jesus
Christ before each game.
- As we already know, male followers of Mohammed
consider it normal for men to wear gowns and ankle length skirts
like their women. These men, will take off their dresses and put on
short pants to participate in the game of soccer. This very act
exposes yet another one of Islam's countless hypocrisies.
Help Us Stop Soccer From Being Played in America
As True Christians™ it
is our God ordained duty from Heaven to expose ignorance in all of its
forms. It is our prayer that one day soon the United States will ban the
sport of "Soccer" from being played on American Christian soil. In
addition, it is our heartfelt hope that one day America will cease
giving aid to any nation on earth who insists on participating in the
game of Soccer.
Please call your local Baptist Church Pastor
or Tea Party representative to see how you can get involved!