2. Toy Story 3 Talking Buddies:
Our Christian mole in Hollywood informs us that Buzz Lightyear and Woody will be planning a gay toy marriage in their next film.  As part of Hollywood's marketing campaign, and in a liberal effort to desensitize children to the homosexual agenda, Disney is releasing the "Talking Buddy" set this Christmas. "Let's take this friendship to another level," says Woody (that name is already enough to make a Christian parent flinch). Even more disturbing is that each character comes with a removable shirt. Do you want to see your conservative child playing with topless toys under the Christmas Tree? Look to landoverebaptist.org for updates as we petition Congress to put an R rating on Toy Story 3 before it is released next year.*

3. Scientific Explorer's Mind Blowing
Science Kit:
When will scientists learn that a Holy Bible and a box of chicken bones provides children with more knowledge and fun than any silly science kit they can ever come up with? This so-called, "kit," will have your child performing dangerous experiments that will make them question the existence of our omniscient God. The Mind Blowing Science Kit, at least does what it says it does - it blows a child's mind wide open!  An open mind is the Devil's Playground - susceptible to demonic spirits! Atheist liberals sell these kits to promote "rational thought." Well, as any True Christian™ will tell you, there is NOTHING rational about Evolution and science. Children who are exposed to this kit will one day die and go to Hell, where they will have all the time in the world to use "rational thought" to figure out why they are being burned alive in a lake of fire while being sodomized by demons for all eternity!

4. Radio Flyer Little Red Roadster:
The beloved, innocent toy of our Christian youth has been retrofitted and redesigned by sodomites to resemble a drooping, semi-aroused red penis! Is there no shame left in this world? How a Godly little red wagon turned into a symbol for Gay rights, and passes unnoticed to even the most conservative family is beyond the Christian imagination! Who wants to see their Baptist child giggling in glee as they ride a mockery of Americana down a public sidewalk in open support of the Homosexual Agenda? While conservatives sleep and do nothing, gays are actively taking over everything we hold dear! And that includes the Radio Flyer Association™! So, even if you want to purchase an old-fashioned flyer that doesn't look like an engorged penis, your money will most certainly go to helping place homosexual teachers in your local elementary school!

5. Barack Obama: Son of Promise,
Child of Hope Book:
We're all for Black people feeling better about themselves, and what better way to raise a colored child to grow up to be a waiter who doesn't spit in your food, or a sanitation worker who doesn't spill your garbage on the curb. This book could have accomplished that, but since it was written by an angry, liberal racist, it is "Pro Obama." Which means that any child who reads it will grow up to become a person who spits on American values and spills the hard earned cash of decent, God-fearing Americans onto the gravel and dirt driveways of the lazy and incompetent! It has NO place in a Christian home!

7. Jump Start the Gay Lifestyle Trampoline for Boys:
When homosexuals were asked to share their earliest memory about choosing to be gay, 87% of them started their story by saying, "Well, my earliest memory was playing on a trampoline as a young boy." And as such, we acknowledge that the use of a trampoline by a male child, is one of the leading causes of homosexuality! And now gay toy designers openly attack conservative Christians by not only creating a triangular trampoline (designed to mock the Holy Trinity) but to add insult to injury, they paint it in the colors of a rainbow! A sacred symbol the Homosexuals stole from God, who gave it to Noah as a promise He would forever stop killing people (except for Asians) by drowning! This toy has NO place in a Christian home!