Day is really no different than any other pagan holiday. Its object is to get
you to the mall and then trick you into worshiping someone other than Jesus.
As True Baptists™, we must come to terms with the full knowledge that
Satan's burping whore of Babylon, the Catholic
Church, is behind every shameless secular holiday. With Mother's Day, the
foul stench of papal involvement couldn't be
more obvious. Because the ring-kissers
have made a history of whipping their psychosexual cravings for
Mary into such a fever pitch, that they spend all their time worrying
about what went into her Holy Vagina, leaving no time to worship what came out
of it – Jesus!
Catholics (as if there are any other kind) would have you believe that
Jesus loved his mother. But the Holy Bible tells us differently. Jesus said, "If
any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother...he cannot be my
disciple." (Luke 14:26). With this
verse, Jesus Christ makes it perfectly clear that He wants his followers to
hate their parents.
Fortunately, as Jenna and Barbara Bush have found, this isn't a
very onerous expectation. We may spend our entire lives doing our best to emulate
the Lord Jesus, but rest assured, we will never match the utter contempt
and intolerable scorn that He had for His own mother! And that's not
even getting into what Jesus felt about His Daddy!
But imagine what you would feel like if you knew your father was out to
kill you only to make Himself look more forgiving to others!
Can you imagine being doted
upon and hounded by your own mother as much as Jesus
was from His? Even for a Jewish mother, Mary was clearly a pest.
Scripture reveals to us that she was an insufferable leech when it came to her
precious Son. Once, when Jesus was attending a sleazy wedding party in
Galilee, His mother started pestering Him to perform one of His magic tricks
when they ran out of cheap grape juice. Jesus turned to her and said, "Woman,
what have I to do with thee?" (John 2:4). He
was so fed up with His mother's incessant nagging (and her
insisting that He accompany her to such a trashy event) that He turned 6
vessels of water into Welch's grape juice just to get her to
shut up for the
rest of the day. And when Mary
gulped down a big glass of unfermented wine, we believe that she became furious that she wasn't
getting the buzz she craved and said things to Jesus in a language that the
editors of the Gospels refused to even transcribe!
We believe that Mary was always trying to make a momma's
boy out of Baby Jesus, but He just wouldn't stand for it! He was more of
Daddy's boy. But He even got fed up with His own Heavenly Father in the end,
as well. He did everything Poppa God asked Him to, but when He was slapped
onto the cross like a slab of raw meat, He was all alone shouting, "My
God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" (Matthew
27:46). And while Jesus was hanging up there, being barbecued in the hot
sun for the sins of mankind, He was still able to muster enough strength to
look down at His confused mother and scream, "Woman,
behold thy son!" (John 19:26).
This was the Judaic equivalent of "Well, I hope you're
satisfied!" Jesus' words reflect a smug satisfaction through His
pain and suffering that He would never again be subjected to a life of having
to impress His mother's friends at Jerusalem tea parties with His super
powers. The good Lord would only perform one more trick before leaving
this world: to
And it wouldn't be for His mother.
He became undead for all of us! Particularly those of us here at
Landover Baptist and other Bible believing Baptist churches across America!
God! But you better believe, during His brief time as a freshly resurrected
corpse He wasn’t even tempted to seek
out his yenta harpy of a mother to spook her!
No sir! He hot-footed right back to Heaven!
So, this Mother's day, we encourage you to make it a Bible-friendly day by
sending your mother a little card to remind her of how much you and Jesus
loathe her. By sending this card
ABOVE: A free downloadable PDF Mother's Day Card from Landover Baptist
Church) you will have proof in your gold-ribbon sealed file on Judgment Day that you actually did
Jesus' commandment to hate your mother! And
you can join Jesus in slapping your knees and having a big old belly-laugh as
both of you watch your mothers slide down
the "Greased Chute in Glory™" to plop down and fizzle in the
unquenchable fires of an everlasting Mother-welcoming Hell.
PRAISE THE MOTHER-HATING, LIVING NAME OF JESUS CHRIST!