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Letters To Landover:
Pastor Opens His Mailbag!

A Sample of E-mails received. Unedited and in original form

I spent half an hour on your website and I am able to cite so much sinfulness and inhuman malevolence that I was almost inclined to believe that you were just a false site created to discredit God-fearing Christians like myself. I realized that you are the kinds of people Jesus Christ warns us about in the Gospels. Woe to you, Pharisees, hypocrites!!! Your law is your salvation and the blood of Christ is wasted in your efforts. Repent and change your ways, else you be condemned to the place of weeping and gnashing of teeth. This is your final warning before the plagues of hell descend upon you. The first shall begin in the coming July month. If repentance is not sensed we will take such defiance as an act of war and treat it as thus. You will pay.

An angel of Christ,
Marcus blakgitarxx

are you radical christians? just because a baby has something wrong with him doesn't mean he's a demon. i was born smarter than most people does that make me demon possessed? (dumbasses)

Gordon Maddon

Dear Pastor Deacon,

I am neither a Twilight fan nor a religious man. I believe in something greater than myself, but i do not have the faith required to believe that it is the biblical God. That being said, i do not have the right to judge Twilight from a religious perspective, i merely judge it from a artistic perspective, and i do believe that young people, especially teenage girls take it TOO far. As much as i dislike Twilight however, i think it is unfair to blame it solely for the actions of young Miss Cindy May. From what i learned from the article, her parents have a WAY larger traumatic, manipulative effect on her. And i do not judge parents, but for her dad to ASSAULT his own daughter is monstrous and morally un-forgivable. Her parents made her feel SO guilty that she caused herself serious bodily harm, who does that to their own children? Teenagers develop fixations with things to use as buffers to get them through their teenage years, there is no shame in it, and once they get older and mature the fixation dies away, to try and remove it from them forcefully is wrong and will never work anyway, it will simply do more harm than good, whether it is in the name of God or not. Parents need to simply be close by to toe the line for their children so that their fixations do not get out of hand and use them for destructive or possibly even evil purpose's. I am well aware that Twilight simply being what it is, about vampire's and vampire's equaling demons, is plainly wrong from a religious stand-point, thus i can't understand it from such a view, and yes religious parents wouldn't want their children associating themselves with such things. But surely their parents can let them see the 'good' in such things and let them absorb the good aspects from it. Twilight does display love in a destructive way...but its love all the same, and that's where the parents should be there to toe the line for their children and explain that love is not meant to be that destructive (instead of throwing them down basement stairs and beating them until their back-sides are bruised), because teenagers today need to know of love, because it is getting harder and harder for young people to grasp, show and feel love. I sincerely hope that just because i am not a religious man that you do not dismiss my views out of hand, and at least think briefly on the words i have shared with you. I have one question for you however, that i believe needs to be answered from the point of view of a messenger of God, someone who claims to have the holy spirit inside him. Do you believe that religious people such as Mr. Reynolds will be forgiven by God for the actions he did to his daughter? And that all parents who are religious who beat, traumatize and control their parents because they believe its the 'religious' way or the 'will of God', will be forgiven? Because surely if there is a God, he must look down on parents treating their children in such way. From what i have read of mythology, God radiates a light SO bright with love emanating from that light that spreads to all living beings and over-whelms us with a love that we can't possibly conceive. When Im thinking about whether there is a divine being or not...i like to believe that's part of him. Thank you for your time.

Kind Regards,
L.C. Osborn


7.   A boy must always wear thick, white underwear. White boxers, and/or briefs are acceptable. Your child must be taught that men who wear colored underwear or undergarments that are cut within one inch of the outer periphery of their pubic region or the trough of the valley between the cheeks of their bottom are either European or Homosexual – and in America there is no difference between the two.

Telling any European is homosexual like that is purely racist and hate. i feel very outraged by that. and yes i am European and yes i wear not so colored but still colored boxers, and no i am not Gay. but even if i was that would change anything cause your Homophobia is just nothing else than hate message. Jesus wouldn't sure approves homosexuality but i am sure he wouldn't approves a such hate message either.

Just my 2 cents.

I hope y'all Burn in Hell! Your website is the devil!

Miguel Villacis

Good day Pastor. I’m a young BLACK man from South Africa and have had the opportunity of reading the Sermon titled “Black History Month, “Excerpted from Pastor Deacon Fred's Sunday Sermon”, from your website.

The URL thereof is

I take great interest in the non-conventional and, quite frankly, radical nature of the content of this sermon and was wondering if there is a way I could obtain the full audio or even text version.

I have been to seminary and as I result I have learned to be open to new or unfamiliar ideologies.

It is for that reason that I request a copy of this arguably distinct Sermon. I trust that you will find this request in order.

BM Mokoka

I don’t even know where to begin. The only thing that I get out of reading your website is how much you detest the unsaved people. It is in Gods will that “NONE” should perish.   

You are being no better than the Pharisees who drug that poor woman caught in adultery (her fault completely) in front of the whole town to condemn her. We are supposed to RESTORE the broken heart, poor, lost etc. You should fast and pray about how cold your message is to the lost.  WHO WERE YOU BEFORE YOU WERE SAVED? You should reread your own website as someone who is unsaved and see how loved you feel while reading that.  Jesus hung around sinners  ALL DAY LONG....THATS HOW THEY GOT SAVED. Remember you are still a are now under GRACE...which is not of works lest any man should boast. Keep your church clean by getting rid of hypocrisy, not by condeming the lost but by leading the sheep to green pastures. I will pray that JESUS will send many more to tell if I am correct. IF I AM NOT...then disreguard this letter.

Judy Mitchell

Dear Landover Baptist Church,

I can understand that being gay is a sin in the Bible and in God's eyes, but there are worse things in the world a child can be. For example, a murderer or a rapist. If a child of god is gay and that child is happy then more power to him!  A house of the Lord should support that child on his difficult journey rather then shun him from his Creator who loves him. In no way is it right that a parent should take away a child's colored crayons. That is a art supply to fuel a child's creativity, IT WILL NOT MAKE THEM GAY. You know what will make them gay, living under a household where the rules are as harsh as the ones in your article Is My Little Baby Going to Gay.  

Having such crude rules will more likely make a child gay then just letting them embrace their true nature. God can be with a child all the time not just on Saturday morning's when one can enjoy a good laugh with cartoons. And you must be kidding me if you think feeding a kid artichoke and tuna will make a kid want to be straight. Just because a food is shaped like a vagina doesn't mean the kid will want to eat it. It will probably teach them that vagina's taste nasty which is not a lie haha. Be honest with yourself, don't you enjoy a good hot dog every now and then? I'm sure you don't eat a hotdog while fantasizing about a male's penis. A hot dog is just one of those good old American foods. Just as soccer is a sport that supports partnership and making friends. 

May God be with you because you are truly lost. 

A blessed child is one who is supported no matter their ideas, beliefs or passions. Even if those passions include a sex drive for the same sex. The children that are raised with the ideas of your church are going to be more corrupt and lost when they enter the real world where life can be a blessing not a hardship. Fuck you.

Olivia Wallace 

Pastor Deacon Fred,

How are you insane people not in jail!?! Especially you!! You're mental! Shouldn't you have an orderlie with you from the asylum???


Dear Pastor, I just read your article on the secretary kidnapped by wiccans.  Im not sure if you are actually being serious or if it was supposed to be some kind of joke.  I took great offence to it, as i have been wiccan for 18 years.  We do not do things like that, we respect life.  You need to get educated on paganism if you are going to write stuff like that.  It is total crap, we do not behave in such manors, and anyone who does that says they are wiccan are either crazy or non wiccan posing as wiccan.  Thats all I have to say.

  My the truth lead you...


You people aree some of te most batshit crazy people ive ever come across, youre somehow even worse than Objective Ministries, i dont know why you are having a feud with them, you are actually both very similar and completerly insane. Do you realise that most people in america are not hardcore christian lunatics, we do not want GOD on our flag, there are many faiths here, most alot more peaceful and sane than your crazy (probablyt money driven) cult. Alot more innocents have been killed in the name of God than satan or any other diety. Do you realise that alot of christian customs and beliefs are actually drawn from older pagan beliefs (easter bunnies, christmas trees etc etc), infact christianity wouldnt even exist if it wasnt for older religions which it is based on. The bible is wrtitten by mn as a means of population control, it is not a divine word, there is no proof of any divine activity anywhere. You are putting too much faith into something  thats actually a load of bullshit. I think you should open your mind and see the truth instead of bringing more hate and intolerance into the world.  

Thank you, I hope you take this seriously. You are the ones who need salvation, not us.

Bob the Heretic




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