INTERNATIONAL PRESS RELEASE:
BALANCE OF POWER SHIFTS AT LANDOVER BAPTIST CHURCH
PUBLIC RELEASE | OFFICIAL STATEMENT TO WORLDWIDE
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Freehold, Iowa - After nearly two-months of prayer and $3.5 million
worth of legal fees paid to Pastor Deacon Fred's team of
the Landover Baptist Board of Deacons announces that
Hardwick (The Bible Answer Man) will assume the role of "Head
Pastor" of the Landover Baptist Church until further notice.
Pastor, Deacon Fred
remains incarcerated in a Fort Madison County Iowa Jail where he
continues to undergo appeals with an Atheist judge for his release. All
appeals henceforth are
at Pastor Deacon Fred's personal expense.
Brother Hardwick, from this day henceforth is to be referred to as Rev. Pastor,
Brother Harry Hardwick. Any church member failing to address him
accordingly in public or in private will be fined at a fee to be decided
on a "per-case basis" by Rev. Pastor Hardwick himeself (Romans 13).
On June 6 at 11:30 PM CST (in the year, day,
hour, and minute of our Lord Jesus Christ),
Brother Hardwick was re-baptized in a private ceremony one
half mile below sacred ground in "The Founder's Chamber,*" by the Board
Rev. Pastor Hardwick's first edict upon receiving his appointment of
to remove chief executives on the Landover Baptist Board of Directors
who were family members or close to Pastor Deacon Fred. Rev. Pastor
Hardwick replaced 3 board members with his
most trusted old roommates from Landover Baptist University. Rev. Pastor Hardwick also appointed
Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best
Christian™ as Chief Financial Officer (CFO) of Landover Baptist Church
Worldwide Ministries, Inc., Wexler Offshore Holdings, LTD., and
Facility for the Treatment of Pre-Sodomites™ in North Dakota. This
position was formerly held by Pastor Deacon Fred who served as Head
Pastor, CFO, CEO, CPA and CSMF of each of the organizations stated above. The Board of Deacons
that this was probably not a good idea to begin with regardless of the
purity of Pastor's
TRANSFER OF THE LORD'S AUTHORITY
IN FULL ACCORDANCE WITH THE KING JAMES 1611 HOLY BIBLE. ROMANS,
LANDOVER BAPTIST FOUNDER'S CHAMBER June 6, 2010.
Rev. Pastor, Brother Harry Hardwick Jr. IV (a dear and close
of Pastor Deacon Fred Smith -
who is incarcerated
and hereby incapable of performing his duties) has assumed complete leadership
and control of the largest and most powerful assembly of True and
Worthwhile Christians™ in the entire physical universe,
the Landover Baptist Church™.
As hereby ordered and ordained by Jesus Christ our Lord and the
Landover Baptist Board of
Deacons in the Founder's Chamber below Freehold Iowa on June 6, 2010.
CHANGES TO CHURCH SCHEDULE AND MINISTRIES
Church members are hereby informed that all 53 weekly Church services
will continue as scheduled except for the Wednesday evening service in
the old rural chapel on Soulwinner's lane. That service will be shortened by
15 minutes, and fellowship time will be extended by an additional 15
minutes. Dress will remain "Executive Christian Business Formal."
Landover Baptist Church members will continue to receive their news
through the Landover Baptist Church web page and online newsletter at
As most church members are aware, the Board of Deacons and the
Freehold, Iowa Baptist Police Department have been working diligently to
secure the password to
Pastor Deacon Fred's Facebook account from his personal secretary,
At the time of this announcement, Ms. Denkins is still at large,
having fled Landover Baptist Church property. Church members with
any information as to her whereabouts are to contact Rev. Pastor
Hardwick or your local Baptist police department immediately!
Sister Edna is in possession of church property and is emotionally
*The "Founders Chamber" has only been used 35 times in the last 300
years to induct emergency pastorships. The last time the chamber was
used was in 1864 during the Great Freehold Rebellion and the subsequent
Iowa State Masturbation Epidemic.
The "Founders Chamber" was created shortly after Rev. Enoch Smithe
placed the cornerstone on the First Baptist Church in Land Over to the
West in Freehold Iowa.