Deaer Paster,
My
dog bark at Presidant Obama when he come on TV! Momma keepts CNNED all
dayn long and Scruffy HOWLS AN BARACKS LIKE A COON HOUND WENT TO FETCH
THAT OBAMA ON OURN TV!
Theys han a picturen of OBAMA TO RAN A long videos and Scruffy
barked at the whole time durn News an OBAMA GONE ON ABUOUT SOMES CRAP
LODE OF BULLS I DONE UNREDSTEAD!!! FAYGGIT! They comp He wont
SHATUPS Pastror! Pappy thrwon HES BEER CAINS ON THE DOG! DOWN BAD DOG!
NO! Nope! Ainst hapenned! THANKS GOD!!
HAYYYELLP! WHY DOSE MY DOG BARKS AT'S OBMA??
Benny Cooper
Freehold, Iowa
Home School System
Age 17, Grade 6
1527 Lord's Candle Mountain Rd.
Dear Benny,
Thank you for your letter. Sounds like your father might have some
drinking issues, but I won't address those here. What you've asked
is a mighty important question, and the answer will show you how the
Lord God even uses
stuff He
created without a soul, like
dogs, to show us how deeply He cares about important folks like
you and me.
The reason dogs bark is to warn us about potential
danger and to protect us from harm. Your dog is barking at
President Obama because he senses danger, and wants to protect
your family from any potential threat.
Benny, you might be too young to understand this - but when your dog,
Scruffy barks at President Obama, he doesn't know that
Obama wants to take your daddy's job away! How can your dog know
that? He's just a dog! Little Scruffy doesn't know that
Obama
wants to take the Bible out of your house and replace it with a
Koran either! Nor can Scruffy know that Obama is going to send Illegal
Mexicans (as if there are any other kind) to live in your basement and
force your mother to feed and clothe them while you starve to death! All
Scruffy knows is that
President Obama is a very dangerous man, and your family needs to be
protected from him.
Have you ever heard a dog bark at a garbage man, or a janitor? Why
yes, you have! Do you know why that is? Well, it is because
God
created canines to have a natural aversion to people who don't have
lilly white skin!
Dogs don't trust colored folks in general! Why else would they bark
at them? Unlike our forefathers, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson
who listened carefully to the barks of dogs! People today ignore the
howls and yelps of our hairy soulless friends who want to protect us
from harm! We need to
get back
to listening to the barks of dogs! Praise God!
Benny, it is important to note that there are genetically engineered
dogs running around out there. They are called "Pit Bulls." This
sacrilegious breed of canine is designed and trained to mock God's
natural order. Pit Bulls are called such because these beasts are
created in the "Pit" of Hell for the sole
purpose of making "Bull" crap out of God's
Will for dogs! A-men? Black people love Pit Bulls because they
are the only kind of dogs in the whole world that bark at white people!
That sort of behaivor is completely unnatural and absolutely counter to
God's Holy wishes.
Back to my point though, Benny. Normal dogs like Scruffy, bark when
they see President Obama because they are warning us through their barks
that we need to take back America and make it into the sort of country
our Founding Fathers envisioned!
Your precious little dog, Scruffy is going to keep barking his furry
little head off until you get off your butt and do something about it!
An entire Sunday School class could be dedicated to this subject. But I
only have a limited amount of space here to tell you what you need to
do. Begin by asking yourself if you've ever seen a dog smile. Have you?
They just curl up their lips in a knowing manner when they are
presented with the most basic truth! Try putting a great big bowl
of leftover slop in front of the TV and tell your momma to turn on Fox News
instead of CNN. You can even squat down and
squeeze a big stinky old poopy out of your hiney into the bowl if
you don't have any leftovers. Scruffy might look up and growl when he
sees President Obama appear - but it won't be as often. As a tip -
on that channel they spend 95% of the time talking about Obama, but they
don't show his picture as much. Scruffy will smile when you pet
his hairy head - push it down into the bowl and say, "shhh!"
He'll get his ornery snout down in there and eat whatever you feed him.
You all can all sit down together as a family in peace for awhile.
If he runs out of slop, ask your Momma or Daddy to
squat down there and squeeze one out for him. Just keep
feeding him crap and he'll be happy - as will your whole family.
God Bless You Benny Cooper,
Your Friend in the Name of the Lord, Jesus Christ,
Pastor Deacon Fred
landoverbaptist.org
