George W. Bush - Official 2004 Campaign Site

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Jay Leno's Vicious Anti-Christian Agenda  After one of Mr. Leno's ferocious late night attacks on Christ, Landover was inundated with thousands of frantic phone calls!  See the Video!>

Talking Masturbation Teaching Toy Marketed to Pre-Teens Girls!  The label on Fisher Price's new penis-shaped toy reads, "Aquapets have a few secrets..." Action Alert!>

Will Jesus Fling You Into Hell For Celebrating Halloween? Fight Satan on his own birthday! Landover Halloween Gear>

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The Real Truth About John Kerry's Shameful Service Record  The latest wholly accurate, non-distorting, Godly campaign ad! View Now!>

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Cars Parking In Church Lot Now Required to Display Fish Decals and Bush 2004 Stickers

As 198 of you realized last Sunday, the church has  begun booting all cars parked during service that do not prominently display both a fish decal and a "Bush 2004" sticker ("Bush 2000" stickers on clearly very old vehicles are not in compliance).  The bright orange boot will be released upon remittance of a $2,000 tithe. 

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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

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