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Cars Parking In Church Lot Now Required
to Display Fish Decals and Bush 2004 Stickers
As 198 of you realized last Sunday, the church has begun booting all
cars parked during service that do not prominently display both a fish
decal and a "Bush 2004" sticker ("Bush 2000" stickers on
clearly very old vehicles are not in compliance). The bright orange boot
will be released upon remittance of a $2,000 tithe.
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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons.
If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed
on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!
If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking
around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click
on this link and we'll help you get started on processing
your eternal security certification right away!
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