The Latest Product Line From Landover Baptist

George W. Bush - Official 2004 Campaign Site

Landover NET - Online Community!

60 Second Sermons

Expert Christian Advice

Accept Christ and Get a Free Playstation2

Do You Hate Your Mother as Much as Jesus Hated His?
Even for a Jewish mother, Mary was clearly a pest... Get a Free Mother's Day Card>

Star Wars Sex CandySexually Suggestive Star Wars Candy To Be Marketed To Children!  Read This Important Action Alert! Click Here!>

Chicago Catholics Spot Virgin Mother's Vagina The Shrine of The Virgin Mother's Impenetrable Vagina  Mrs. Dick Cheney addresses Mary Worshipping pilgrims in Chicago. More>

Landover Baptist T-Shirts, Mugs, Stickers, Greeting Cards, and More!

The Pope's Message From HellThe Pope's Message From Hell  Brother Hardwick surmises what the Pope might say to his followers now that he finds his withered body toasting in Hell...  More>

Lucas Watch ™Inside the Sick Mind of George Lucas  
Mr. Lucas is the sort of person one becomes when they don't play enough sports in high-school...Full Story>

Tips on Sharing Jesus with Gnomes, Dwarves, Dark Elves and More!Christian Video Gaming News
Winning Souls to Christ in the World of Warcraft
  Christian gamers accept the challenge of sharing Christ's message in a perilous, virtual, lava-soaked, environment. Full Story>

Click For a Landover Video!

Pastor Applauds Vatican's Selection of Pope 

After making absolutely sure that Bene-dict is not Latin for "well-dicked," Pastor Deacon Fred sent written congratulations to the Vatican last Tuesday on selecting one of the handful of priests not implicated in sexual debauchery to serve as Pope: "While you will all surely burn in Hell for joining the filthy Roman cult, we at Landover Baptist nevertheless commend your decision to spend the little time you have left before roasting in eternal fire selecting someone we all know is innocent of the charges facing most of your kind.  After all, even the youngest of altar boys would take one look at that winking old mug and jump right through a stained glass window."

Sign Up Now!


We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

Search Landover Baptist's Archives by subject below, or click here to be taken to the Pearly Archive Gateway!

Action Alerts
Baptist Sexuality

Bible Quizzes

Book Reviews




Creation Science


Demon Possession


Heavenly Health


Movie Reviews

National News




Spiritual Life


Allah's Terrorists




The Landover Baptist Church® is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
About | Advertising information | Help/Feedback
Join Us | Terms of Service | Plan Of Salvation | News Archives | Read The Mail We Get