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Letters To Landover:
Pastor's Mailbag!

A Small Sample of E-mails received.
Unedited and in original form

i can spell, read, write , and i have respect for anyone that has respect for me.  yes i have sex with men. so what?

i am also jewish........again, so what?

you people are seriously deranged if you think your website is going to make a difference in the world how it is today.  

just my 2 cents.  

now piss off! and Shalom.

Thomoas "bottom-boy" (aka: barebackerthomas)

you people are a crock of SHITT! Wicca Is peacefull! YOU are the ones killing and doing sinfull things. AND ITS A FACT. history shows you all are sinners! wiccans do NOT kill ANYTHING!!! Man Or Beast. So i say fuck your god up the ass!...and have a blessed day!  

Blessed Be!
-Mushroom (Stephanie Wittling)

Well, a friend showed me your website through a link to your article on Pokemon. At first I was like, "Alright. I've heard this before. Some people think Pokemon is the work of the Devil. Sure. Whatever." Oh, by the way, Pokemon is short for "pocket monsters" not "pocket demons." I grew up watching Pokemon, started watching in 1996. I hardly find it fair that you call those who watch it "satanists" and "devil worshipers" but that is a perspective I understand considering some of my relatives think the same thing. Though on further inspection of your website, it didn't take long to realize that you are in-fact nothing more than a badly constructed cult that feds off Christianity in order to rally more followers. You people are simply out of your minds and brainwash others into believing the garbage you put out there for them. You try and scare others  by making them believe they are going to hell when in fact it is you who will burn in hell for all eternity for being fake Christians and leading others astray. And I truly believe it is the punishment you deserve for purposefully siding yourselves with the Devil in his fight against God. You do nothing but promote hatred and intolerance towards those who do not see from your twisted perspective.

Raven Heartnet (

so.... I AM AN ATHEIST!!!!!!!!!!! THE BIBLE IS A LIE!!!!!!!!!!! HAIL SATIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF U WANNA CALL ME MY NUMBER IS 666-666-6666 W00T!!!! DARWIN IS A GENIUS!!! U DUMBFUCKS!


You people are arrogant jackasses.  

I'm not a gay person but I do not think it is a bad thing. I mean, sure, religion doesn't like it, and they are entitled to that, but to refer to the lifestyle of people all over the world as something satanic or demonic indicates something extremely wrong with the church. Being gay is not a disease, it cannot be cured, and it bloody well shouldn’t be prevented. Parents have no right to make that choice for their children; children are not an extension of the parents but an individual of their own creation.

Tom Hynes

Regarding Your Article About Yoga:

I just wanted to let you know that your study requires a little more effort and search.  There are many sources of information that you obviously haven't seen.  The written history of yoga predates the New Testament.  The ancient writings in Sanskrit are older than the old testament.  We know Sanskrit existed as the oldest known language because of artifacts from the middle east predating the Tora.  You question their authenticity as I question murderer Constantine's motives throughout the formulation of his state religion...   

As a martial artist, I have studied yoga in order to make my body more flexible during training, which has kept my body able to continue to function after work related injuries.  Bodhidarma traveled to China from India to teach the Shaolin Monks this method of training their bodies, and look at the end result.  There are plenty of demonstrations that you can see for yourself on Youtube.  The very beginning of the art of Chi Gong in Kung Fu was aadapted from a form of yoga practiced by Buddhist monks in Nepal, Tibet, and India.  If you wish to throw away our human history and continue to believe that this is all sin, then you are without.  It might be vanity maybe, but not sin...   

I wonder if any ancient writings were brought by the "three kings" of the orient to Jesus...  I wonder what religion they were.  I wonder how much we really know about history.  I think you are dead wrong about yoga.  There may be a connection between tantric yoga and kama sutra, but what americans think of as yoga is only the physical aspect of Buddhism and Hinduism.  Why don't you read more about these religions and how yoga came to be practised, so that you can make an educated argument as to why Christians should not practice yoga, instead of sounding ignorant?  

What's so funny about hitting people with Bibles?  How about having more respect for ancient writings? 

Anthony Dean    

I just have a question and since you have such a strict policy on "unsaved not welcome" i thought it would be appropriate.

In the bible does it not say that we should be fishers of men? That christians...true christians...should spread the word of the lord. And does it not say that god loves everyone and we are created in the image of him? say that you believe in every aspect of the bible but you seem to be missing some crucial aspects. So shouldn't you be welcoming the unsaved and loving them as god would do? If you truly believed in the bible...evey aspect...then you should trust god to keep you from evil while doing his work.

Also you seem to be very against those who dont fit into the "norm"  but did jesus not love those who were different? for example the tax collecters and the harlets.

Jocelyn Horhozer []

your church is guilty of herasy,just as any so called "unsaved",you claim your church makes money off of other's stupidity and I quote,

"If you send an e-mail submission to this site, you are certifying that you are 18 years or older and you are granting The Landover Baptist™ Parody Website a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive and fully sublicensable right and license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display your submission (in whole or part including your personal e-mail address) and/or to incorporate it in other works in any form, media, or technology now known or later developed." This means, we could write a book and include your email messages and all of the money we make from your stupidity belongs to our Godly Pastor, Deacon Fred!  Praise Jesus! 

you consider yourself Godly which is an infraction upon the light,only the All can determine who is worthy of godhood,and those who are granted this Holy ascendancy are no longer physically on this plane and by declaring this Godhood you have damned yourself and all who follow you,You have renounced the All and WILL NOT recieve his Truths until you find your errors and renounce your ways,for there is no mercy to be shown to false prophets,only the Pits of Abbadon.the Daemons that you hunt will soon hunt you,your family and your followers,by the power hosted within my vessle I will personally see to your trials and balance your Fate.your Hunters cannot save you, nor will your God.The All cares nothing for the troubles of mankind and is not concerned with those whose prayers are full of selfish thoughts,only enlightenment will Save you,there is no God to save you,only creations of Man made to decieve and control,you will find this for yourself through trials of death and sickness,The reformation is now,the Golden Opening is to follow,soon shadowed by the purging of the world and dawn of the New Light,You have no time,you are qlippoth,nothing but shells waiting to be shatter'd by the true holders of the Light, the Magi.Adonai Adonai Salam Seth Kepher. So Mote it Be.

Uriel d'Angouleme

Is your website a joke? Discreminating against black people and wiccans? And you give a bad name for homeschoolers.

Bianca xD

with all do respects sir..what you write here seems bolonga to me. Everything is judgemental and rude. I dont enjoy it. African Americans should not be referred to as negroes. I am sure God wouldn't apreciate judgmental people. Every kid that writes to you seems to be brainwased!!

Kris Zemog196196

The Artical regarding breast feeding as a sinful act is the most un godly piece of crap that I've ever read. You are oppressing women and calling their bodies evil vessels. The benefits of breast milk to an infant surpasses the benefits that any man made formula can create. God created the female body to be a safe loving haven for an infant not the devil's playground. Get educated and stop putting lies on the internet. As a Christian and soon to be mother I am ashamed that you post these false statements up for the world to see. This isn't Godly work this is evil doing, You need to evaluate your walk with christ and how you view Gods creations. This is an outrage and should be banned!!!!

Andrea Sencion

Hi, I stumbled upon your website and felt ill reading over it. I cannot believe the nonsense that religion brings out in people. Not only do you devote your life to mythology but you also promote ignorance and perpetuate the cycle of ignorance and stupidity to people who are weak enough to buy the garbage that is religion. How does it feel to devote your life to something that does not exist? You practice mythology. Why is Greek Mythology considered mythology? Why don't people believe in Zeus? But historically it shows that people did. It's so wild that without one shred of evidence that so many will devote and carry out horrible atrocities on others in the name of the myth that is God! That's right buddy a myth. It's time to let the archaic mindset of religion go and move on to something real. If the world could do that so much would change for the positive. I am a vegan and I was thinking why would a God create living beings who murdered other living beings for their own pleasure That alone tells me THERE IS NO GOD.
The last email from me was sent by accident unfinished so I will start over. The article found here is not only full antisemitism and other things but mostly complete and utterly stupid garbage that was thought up by someone thad did no research. First off let me say that I respect everyone's right to believe in what they wish. I don't call anyone of another faith names, degrade them, or try to convert them.

Let me start off with the story at the beginning of the article about some stupid girl throwing a decapitated cat into the baptismal pool and then being detained against her will (which is called felonious restraint by the way). This girl sounds like a wanna be and did several things which are considered bad in the wiccan religion. For starters its against the wiccan rede to harm mother nature or others in any way. By what I have read I am going to assume you have done absolutely no research on wicca or any neo pagen religion for that matter.

The wiccan rede states this "An Ye Harm None, Do What Ye Will". This means do as you will as long as it doesn't harm someone else. Now to the next things mentioned, the statement that wiccans are just a bunch of teenagers who hate their parents. Where did you get this from? I happen to know many wiccans who are well into their 30's, not to mention I am 22 years old and I love my parents very much, whom are christian by the way. Then you mentioned some wierd garbage about wiccans kidnapping christians and drinking their blood... uh ok I would't want to drink anyones blood to begin with and unless you can find me one piece of proof that this ever happened I consider that ignorant statment closed.

The next thing mentioned is a classic uneducated remark that people generally with low iq's say. Which is that wiccans worship satan. The only religion that worships satan is satanism. Although you say that anyone who doesnt follow your religion worships satan (which is kind of hard for wiccans to do because we dont believe in satan or anything to do with christianity, we believe in mother nature and the circle of life.)

I am hoping that this artical is some kind of joke because if it isn't then you are very deranged and quite frankly sick in the head. Especially when it comes to your weird talk about hunting and capturing whitches. Good luck on finding us by the way because we dont where black, use makeup to look pale, or pretty much anything else you mentioned. We are just like every other human beings on this earth. Some are short, some tall, some skinny, some fat. I by the way have no peircings and am in no way fat. I also bathe daily and wouldnt want to be around somebody that bathed once a month. And if you do find me good luck because I would gladly shoot anyone that tried to harm me or my family.

Anyways im done trying to debate such ignorant satements so I will consider the rest of it as a waste of time. Just figured I would state the fact that wicca is a religion of peace and kindness which by the looks of things is something you lack. I hope you practice your religion the way it was intended to but I doubt you will. I like your Jesus, he is a perfect example of how life should be lived, but its idiots like you that cause evil in this world. If you have the guts to respond to this or debate with me in a civil mannor then by all means go for it.

Austin Burris (The sacred master of mordor)




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