Restaurateurs throughout America are noticing that there is one thing their patrons crave more than anything after a matinee at Mel Gibson's "The Passion of the Christ:" blood.  "No Christian orders their steaks well done no more," remarked Trixie Turnstyle, waitress at Outback Steak House.  "In fact, most folks ask us not to cook it all, so that all the blood from their prime rib can pool on the plate and be slurped up in an ecstatic frenzy while the rest of the table screams Jesus' name."  Many restaurants are being asked to leave the skin on meats so that the diner can flail and lacerate the hide for 90-minutes with their steak knives.

There is so much blood being splattered around Sizzler these days, the chain, popular with evangelicals, went through 1,134 lobster bibs yesterday without serving a single lobster.  "We have really made a killing since we changed the name of the drink from Bloody Mary to Bloody Jesus!" squealed Dave Dial, bartender at a Marietta Georgia TGIFridays.  "We now serve it with a nine-inch nail instead of a stick of celery.  And offer two kinds: Type O (well brand) and Type A (premium).  Folks are really getting off on letting it drip down the side of their mouths."