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 Effeminate
Man Asked to Leave 11 A.M. Service
Church members were disturbed by the
presence of an effeminate man during Sunday's 11 a.m. service. "His high
pitched singing and lengthy, peculiar handshakes during greeting time left us
True Christians™, and our Lord feeling a bit uneasy," said Pastor
Deacon Fred.
The service was
interrupted in the middle of Pastor's sermon to have the man forcibly removed
from God's Holy House. The congregation learned later that the
effeminate man was holding eye-contact and pursing his lips at Associate
Pastor Ben Hurney for nearly 15 minutes. "We
acted quickly," Pastor Deacon Fred told the congregation. "It is our
duty to remove trash from God's house."
Matters were further complicated outside of
the church when the effeminate man started flailing his wrists and yapping at
church Deacons in early Ebonics as they struggled to stuff him into the trunk
of a Baptist police car.
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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons.
If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed
on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!
If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking
around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click
on this link and we'll help you get started on processing
your eternal security certification right away!
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