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National Day of Prayer: Pray Loudly and In Public, So Thou Might Be Seen By MenDon't Worry, Jesus Was Just Being Sarcastic When He Condemned Public Prayer  Church families are asked to keep all closet doors in their homes ajar during The National Day of Prayer in order to show that we acknowledge our complete understanding of when Jesus was only joking.   Look At Me Pray Day!>

Iron Man:  A True Christian Movie ReviewIf You Keep Overdosing on Drugs and Don't Die, They Call You, Iron Man
Our Pastor's insightful message about the new movie, Iron Man, will provide you with the spiritual ammunition you need to confront unsaved folks who are thinking about seeing this horrible film!   Movie Review>

Why Christians Shouldn't Care About the EnvironmentWhy True Christians Shouldn't Give a Lick About the Damned Environment
"Us folks know more about the fate of this planet than any hell-bound scientist. That's because we have a personal relationship with the Fellow who invented this crazy old place to begin with!" Read More>

HAVE A BIBLE BASED MOTHER'S DAY!Do You Hate Your Mother as Much as Jesus Hated His?
Even for a Jewish mother, Mary was clearly a pest. Scripture reveals to us that she was an insufferable leech when it came to her precious Son. More!>

Mrs. Betty Bowers is Running For President!Betty Bowers & Her Blessed Blog 
America's Best Christian™ comments on current events and political affairs! Glory!
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Reader Mail From Landover Baptist - Updated With April 2008 MailReader Mail!
100% Genuine E-mails sent to Landover Baptist from concerned Christian citizens. Updated with April 2008 letters to our Godly Pastor. Read!>


Incredible limited supply of collector's Mormon Underwear now on sale in the Landover Baptist Store!
Click Here for Rare Religious Memorabilia Available Only Through God's Favorite Church.

New Policy for Menstruating Females, In Effect Immediately!Bible Based Policy for Menstruating Women Filthy females are a health risk, full of contaminants that put us all in immediate danger! More> 

Can Viewing an Episode of Magnum PI Turn You Into a Homosexual?Jesus Commands Pastor to Burn Grandpa's Collection of Magnum PI Videos
"I'm up here today giving a testimony about my so-called struggle with homosexuality. If I don't, I'm told I'll have to find another place to worship." More!>  

Are Americans So Hooked on Reality TV, They'd Put a Negro Islamic Extremist in the White House?Barack Hussein Obama's Ties To the Nation of Islam
The
Landover Baptist Department for the Study of Inferior Cultures releases a list of important findings based on reliable Christian hearsay. Learn More> 

Tips on Sharing Jesus with Gnomes, Dwarves, Dark Elves and More!Christian Video Gaming News
Winning Souls to Christ in the World of Warcraft  Christian gamers accept the challenge of sharing Christ's message in a perilous, virtual, lava-soaked, environment. Full Story>

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APRIL 2008 @ -LANDOVERBAPTIST.NET & MORE!

Baptists For Republican Faith!  Praise Jesus!  
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Work Begins on 2008 Christian Voter's Guide  
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 Bible Based SexBaptist Sexuality  
Satan is making your soft, inviting body HIS business!  Stop his wandering red claws from tickling your fancy! More!>

The True Christian™ Guide to the Movies!Satan's Latest Releases  
Get a leg up on the Devil's DVD's this season  Learn Me About Movies>

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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL!
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