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Landover Parents Ordered to Prepare Toddlers
for a Catholic Supreme Court
With the confirmation of Samuel Alito,
the Catholics now have a 5-4 majority on the U.S. Supreme court. In anticipation of the loss of laws soon to be found unconstitutional,
Landover will indefinitely be offering mandatory courses in pre-pubescent male prophylactics for all mothers in the main sanctuary after Tuesday afternoon bridge. Moms will learn how to insert femidoms, attached to reverse chastity belts, after engaging in water-based lubrication of their young sons' rectums. Bring your own supplies, now available in kit-form with English-only instructions in the main gift shop.
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