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George W. Bush - Official 2004 Campaign Site

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Accept Christ and Get a Free Playstation2

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Valentine's Day: Bible Based SexVALENTINE'S DAY
Bible Based Sex
  Godly advice, Creation research and everything you need keep your sinful parts clean for Jesus! Look!>

Dear Pastor, Do Pets Go to Heaven?Pastor Hospitalized Over Panic Attack Related to Success of Brokeback Mountain  

Heather Hardwick's Conversation with Victoria OsteenVALENTINE'S DAY
Bible Sex Quiz
 See how Larry Flynt's magazines don't hold a candle to the Lord's original we the Quiz!>

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Reader Mail From Landover BaptistReader Mail! Authentic e-mails sent directly to our Pastor's inbox from the heartland of God's Country™
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Get a Heart on For Jesus!  Valentine's Day CampaignVALENTINE'S DAY
Get a Heart On For Jesus Campaign!
We're sweeping the nation and cleaning up the subtle focus that Valentine's Day places on sex. 
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2006 Personal Testiphony Contest!  Enter Now!CONTEST!
175th Annual Personal Testimony Contest!
 Contest deadline is March 1st, 2006.  Full Details>

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Landover Parents Ordered to Prepare Toddlers for a Catholic Supreme Court

With the confirmation of Samuel Alito, the Catholics now have a 5-4 majority on the U.S. Supreme court. In anticipation of the loss of laws soon to be found unconstitutional, Landover will indefinitely be offering mandatory courses in pre-pubescent male prophylactics for all mothers in the main sanctuary after Tuesday afternoon bridge. Moms will learn how to insert femidoms, attached to reverse chastity belts, after engaging in water-based lubrication of their young sons' rectums. Bring your own supplies, now available in kit-form with English-only instructions in the main gift shop.


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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

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