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Public Displays of Affection Will Not Be
Tolerated!
As students arrive on the holy grounds of
Landover Baptist University to begin the fall semester, they are reminded that
penalties for hand-holding between opposite sexes, and the big ten inch rule
are still in effect. "Our young people must set an example for Christ, by
refraining from giving the slightest hint of unrighteousness that leads to
children being born out of wedlock," says Creation Scientist, Dr.
Jonathan Edwards. Penalties for hand holding and big ten-inch violations will
be increased to $200 per instance this year. "Landover Baptist University
is a place for young Christians to be trained up and educated so they can go
into the world and share the message of Jesus Christ," says Pastor Deacon
Fred. "It might be fine and dandy for some to attend a school where girls
get pregnant by sitting on toilet seats in unisex bathrooms, but we don't go
for that at Landover Baptist University, nor will we ever."
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The
Corpse Bride: Hollywood's New Obsession With Necrophilia
Cults:
Our Handy Reference Guide
Approved
Back to School Books For Christian Children 
Harry
Potter Action Alert!
New
Evidence Suggests Noah's Sons Rode Flying Dinosaurs! 
