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Join Christians Across America as We Combat Satanic Filth!The Corpse Bride:  Hollywood's New Obsession With Necrophilia  There is no coy packaging of this feature, it is what it is: a children's movie that promotes sexual relations with the dead. Learn More!>

Quick Reference Guide to CultsCults: Our Handy Reference Guide As this Christian nation opens its doors to more foreign trash, God's people are unfortunately exposed to exotic new ideas. Learn More!>

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Video: Landover Protests Immorality! Video protest of the immoral movie, Southern Baptist Sissies. Watch It!>

The Top 5 Summer Reading Books For Christian KidsApproved Back to School Books For Christian Children  Besides the Bible, what else should your Godly child read this summer?. Click Here!

Join Christians Across America as We Combat Satanic Filth!Harry Potter Action Alert! The Ladies of Landover held a midnight prayer vigil and formed a love link, chaining themselves to the doors of Barnes & Noble. 

Did Noah's Sons Use Flying Dinosaurs to Transport Polar Bears to the Ark?New Evidence Suggests Noah's Sons Rode Flying Dinosaurs!  Breaking news in the world of Creation Science! More!>

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Public Displays of Affection Will Not Be Tolerated!

As students arrive on the holy grounds of Landover Baptist University to begin the fall semester, they are reminded that penalties for hand-holding between opposite sexes, and the big ten inch rule are still in effect. "Our young people must set an example for Christ, by refraining from giving the slightest hint of unrighteousness that leads to children being born out of wedlock," says Creation Scientist, Dr. Jonathan Edwards. Penalties for hand holding and big ten-inch violations will be increased to $200 per instance this year. "Landover Baptist University is a place for young Christians to be trained up and educated so they can go into the world and share the message of Jesus Christ," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "It might be fine and dandy for some to attend a school where girls get pregnant by sitting on toilet seats in unisex bathrooms, but we don't go for that at Landover Baptist University, nor will we ever."

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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

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