The Latest Product Line From Landover Baptist

George W. Bush - Official 2004 Campaign Site

60 Second Sermons

Expert Christian Advice

Worst Ever President Products

Accept Christ and Get a Free Playstation2

Christian Kids Wanna Know!CHRISTIAN KIDS WONDER:
"Does Jesus Watch Me Go Poopy?"
  The Lord knows that toilet time is a dangerous time, filled with horrid temptations of the flesh! Pastor Answers>

National Day of PrayerHomeless Shelters and Soup Kitchens Closed Throughout America to Observe National Day of Prayer  For a list of Landover Community Service Ministries affected - Click Here> 

America's Best Christian Reviews The Da Vinci CodeMovie Review: The Da Vinci Code"  Anything that drives the Catholics crazy, can't be all bad.Betty Bowers Reviews>

MOTHER'S DAY
Do You Hate Your Mother as Much as Jesus Hated His?
  Even for a Jewish mother, Mary was clearly a pest. Free Mother's Day Card>


Reader Mail From Landover BaptistReader Mail! Authentic e-mails sent directly to our Pastor's inbox from the heartland of God's Country™  Let Me See!>


Landover Baptist T-Shirts, Mugs, Stickers, Greeting Cards, Magnets, Black T's, and More!

Announcing the Winner of Our 175th Annual Personal Testimony Contest  Click Here>

Regarding the Ads for Body Piercing on Our Church Web SiteRegarding the Ads for Body Piercing on Our Church Web Site!  A word to concerned viewers regarding the ungodly ads that on our Christian web site. More> 

Worship the Lord In Ultimate Relaxation!  Landover Baptist - Now With Luxury SeatingGoodbye Padded Oak Pews, Hello Luxury Leather Recliners! 
Announcing of luxury seating for select members during Sunday services. More>

Register Your Sissy Boy for Vacation Bible Gun Camp  Please do not send food to camp with your child. Each child will be given a satchel of dried locusts to serve as a Bible trail mix. More>

Click For a Landover Video!


Prayer Hit Squads Target Supreme Court

The Landover Baptist Board of Deacons has commissioned the Freehold, Iowa Christian Police Department to form no less than four Prayer Hit Squads in the next several months.

"These elite squads will be made up of professional prayer warriors," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "We're looking for seasoned men of God to form the most accurate prayer squads in the country. Most recently, one of our Prayer Squads was able to get Jesus to knock some sense into the State of South Dakota by turning it into the first True Christian™ Hanger State. And that's a start, even if there are just a few dozen folks living there.

Our new Prayer Hit Squads will aim their prayers directly towards Washington DC, in hopes to spatter the walls of the Supreme Court with the sweet blood of Jesus Christ! Glory to God!"


Sign Up Now!

 

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

MAY GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL!
Search Landover Baptist's Archives by subject below, or click here to be taken to the Pearly Archive Gateway!

Action Alerts
Baptist Sexuality

Bible Quizzes

Book Reviews

Cathylicks

Child-Rearing

Christmas

Creation Science

Cults

Demon Possession

Finance

Halloween
Heavenly Health

Homersexurals

Movie Reviews

National News

Negroes

Politics

Sermons

Spiritual Life

Thanksgiving

Allah's Terrorists

Easter

 

 

Google
 
Web www.landoverbaptist.org


The Landover Baptist Church® is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
About landoverbaptist.com/.org | Advertising information | Help/Feedback
Join Us | Terms of Service | Plan Of Salvation | News Archives | Read The Mail We Get

Click to Visit the Landover Store!

New!  Jesus Is Watching You Gear!
Click Here!

Intelligently Designed by the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Intelligunt Desine Gear!

As Seen on Network Television: Wear Nasty Bible Verses
Biblical Wisdom Gear!

Wimp And Chimp Gear!
Click Here!

Value T-Shirts in the Landover Baptist Store!
Click Here!