Landover Baptist | Where the Worthwhile Worship. Unsaved Unwelcome.

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George W. Bush - Official 2004 Campaign Site

Accept Christ and Get a Free Playstation2

SUPERMAN MOVIE REVIEW
Back From Another Galaxy to Rape Your Girlfriend and Destroy Your Family We know that Superman fornicated with Lois Lane roughly five years before he returned from.... Full Review>

Landover's July 4th New York Times Burning Covers Half of Des Moines in Blanket of Soot and Ash "Nice to know that the Jew York Times could finally do something useful -- make me laugh -- even if it took burning over 12,000 of their ding-dang newspapers to do it, said Pastor." Read More!>

Satan's Latest Releases
Get a leg up on the Devil's DVD's this summer by reviewing our True Christian™ Guide to the Movies! Learn Me Good!>

The War on Terror God's 10 secrets for waging a perfect war, how to spot a terrorist, and much more Go!>

Landover Baptist T-Shirts, Mugs, Stickers, Greeting Cards, Magnets, Black T's, and More!

Rev. Jerry Falwell is NOT a Homosexual! We're putting to rest any vicious rumors surrounding Brother in Christ, Dr. Jerry Falwell! More>

BETTY BOWERS REVIEWS:
Ann Coulter's Godless! A book about religion from Ann Coulter is tantamount to reading a book about dieting from Michael Moore. Review>

If Your Child Was Born on 06-06-06! Is your newborn baby the Devil's Son? Read our important checklist for concerned Christian mothers! More>

Reader Mail! Authentic e-mails sent directly to our Pastor's inbox from the heartland of God's Country™ Let Me See!>

Registration for Junior High Vacation Bible Gun Camp Underway!

What is There to Do?
Apocalyptic wilderness survival training, Bible reading, Scripture memory contests, marksmanship competitions, Old testament wild deer and boar sacrifices, gun care and cleaning, manly fellowship, Bible skits, and evening super surprise game competitions where children use tranquilizer guns to hunt unsaved homeless people who are dropped into the mountains by helicopter.

Who Can Come?
Landover Baptist Vacation Bible Gun Camp is for anyone who finished Grade 3 up to those finished grade 8. Optional grade 7 for those who attended last year and failed to kill an endangered animal and memorize over 50 Bible verses.

Click Here for More Details!

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!