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New Policy for Menstruating Females, In Effect Immediately!SPRING CLEANING:
New Church Policy for Menstruating Females, In Effect Immediately!  
Filthy women are a health risk, full of contaminants that put church members in immediate danger!  Learn More> 

  Local Catholic Priests to Hold Traditional Boy Diddling ContestLocal Catholic Priests to Hold Traditional Boy Diddling Contest! "Nothing surprises me anymore," says Pastor Deacon Fred. "Boy diddling is so much a part of Catholic heritage that..." Read More!> 

Are Americans So Hooked on Reality TV, They'd Put a Negro Islamic Extremist in the White House?Barack Hussein Obama's Ties To the Nation of Islam The Landover Baptist Department for the Study of Inferior Cultures releases a list of important findings based on reliable Christian hearsay.
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Mrs. Betty Bowers is Running For President!Betty Bowers & Her Blessed Blog  America's Best Christian™ comments on current events and political affairs! Glory! Click Here

St. Patrick's Day: Another False Holiday From the Catholics

The Truth About Saint Patrick's DayThe Terrifying Truth About Saint Patrick!
Pastor delivers a shockingly effective kiddy sermon to a horrified group of rebellious Landover youngsters.
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The History of Saint Patrick's DayDoes America Really Need Another Excuse for Catholics to Get Drunk?
"Saint Patrick's Day is like green beer - something the Lord never intended," says Pastor Deacon Fred. More>

Free St. Patrick's Day Christian Witnessing Gift Card & Gospel TractFree Download: Free Saint Patrick's Day Tract & Gift Card 
Share the truth about Leprechauns with a beer guzzling, unsaved Mary worshiper. Download Free Card>

Exclusive Supply Cache of Collectible Mormon Underwear From Mitt Romney's Post-Election Apocalypse Family Grain & Storage Silo!
Clicking on the ad above could take you to products not fully endorsed by this Church.

Learn How to Claim Victory in Christ Over Everyday Sexual TemptationsClaim Victory in Christ Over Daily Sexual Temptations! Temptation for our those of us who minister to farm animals might be shocking to some, but to the Lord, it's another day of forgiveness! Learn More!> 

The Golden Compass and ChristianityThe Golden Compass Vs. The Holy Bible! Compare the dangerously inappropriate ideas in a disgusting film to the healthy ideas children are exposed to in the Holy Bible.  Read More>

Christian Family Action Alert Concerning the Wii Gaming System!  Click Here to Learn More!NATIONAL FAMILY ACTION ALERT:
"Wii" Is Oriental For: "I Having Orgasm!"
"Oriental woman squeal out, Wii, when they experience pleasure during a sexual encounter outside of marriage," Dr. Rawlings reports. Learn More!>

Mitt Romney's Hilarious Religious BeliefsMitt Romney's Absolutely Hilarious Religious Beliefs  Mormonism is second only to Scientology as the wackiest cult Lucifer ever boiled up in the lava bubbles of the Lake of Fire!  Read More>

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Baptists For Republican Faith!  Praise Jesus!  
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Work Begins on 2008 Christian Voter's Guide  
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Journey With Us Through the Bible in a Year! 
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Catholics and Their Blasphemous Worship of MaryLandover Baptist's Guide to Mary Worshippers  Everything you need know about those hell-bound, ring-kissing, candle-lighting, Mary worshipping, skirt-wearing Catholics!  Get Informed!>    

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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

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