May
16, 2010:
Pastor Deacon Fred Preaches Hastily Edited, Controversial Sermon
Unfortunately, in the interest of church security and the safety of
unsaved children, Pastor's May 16 sermon is not
available online. The sermon was written by Pastor the previous
week and hastily edited for scriptural insertions by
Brother Harry Hardwick two hours before Sunday morning services.
It is important to note that this has been a standard practice between Baptist Pastors and their Associate
Baptist Pastors for the last 327 years.
May
17, 2010:
Unsaved Child
Lights His Penis on Fire After Hearing Sermon: Pastor Jailed
Pastor Deacon Fred was arrested by Baptist Police Officers after Church
authorities learned that an unsaved boy snuck into church without
permission, heard Pastor's sermon, and lit his own penis on fire. Pastor
was escorted to the Fort Madison County Jail in upstate Iowa to avoid
local controversy. His secretary, Edna Denkins visited him that night
and smuggled out
"Pastor's Epistle to the Unincarcerated."
May
28, 2010:
Pastor
Deacon Fred Begins to Lose His Religious Sanity in Jail
Brother Harry Hardwick, at the behest of the Board of Deacons, traveled
to Fort Madison County to visit Pastor in jail. He returned to Freehold,
Iowa with a disturbing video which he presented church authorities.
A decision was made to post Pastor's video on YouTube so the public
would understand why church authorities were distancing themselves from
Pastor.
June
14, 2010:
Brother Harry Hardwick & Mrs. Betty Bowers Take Control of Landover
Baptist Church
The Board of Deacons approved by a unanimous vote to appoint
Brother Hardwick as "Rev. Pastor" and CEO of Landover Baptist Worldwide
Ministries and Mrs. Betty Bowers
as CFO.
An international press release was placed in addition to a fugitive
alert for Sec.
Edna Denkins who had taken control of
Pastor Deacon Fred's Facebook account after fleeing Freehold, Iowa.
June
26, 2010:
Pastor's Wife Momentarily Breaks Through Catatonic State While Under
Suicide Watch
Macel Smith, beloved wife of Pastor Deacon Fred who was sent to the
church Facility in North Dakota shortly after her husband was jailed,
momentarily broke through her catatonic state. Rev. Pastor Harry's wife,
Heather
Hardwick by her side to call nurses to assist in sedating her.
July
4, 2010:
Thousands of Facebook Fans Rampage Remote Iowa Town to Bust Deacon Fred
Out of Jail
Deacon Fred accessed a computer in the library of the Fort Madison
County Iowa Jail to rally support on his behalf
through the social networking site, Facebook. Thousands of his
fans and friends coordinated a strike on Fort Madison that left hundreds
injured, several dead and a small town in ruins before they whisked
Deacon Fred across the border to Canada.
July
15, 2010:
Pastor
Deacon Fred Posts Threatening Video to YouTube While Hiding in Manitoba
While a fugitive in Manitoba, Pastor Deacon Fred put together a video
threatening Brother Harry Hardwick, Mrs. Betty Bowers, and the Landover
Baptist Board of Deacons. He claimed to have thousands of followers with
him, hiding out in the mountains. He promised a Holy War against the
Landover Baptist Church if his demands were not met.
July
17, 2010:
Deacon Fred's Secretary, Edna Denkins Found Kidnapped & Tortured by
Wiccans!
Upon seeing Pastor's video from Manitoba, the Board of Deacons hastily
put together a Sin Posse to head North. Brother Hardwick, who had
continuously expressed concern as to the whereabouts of Edna Denkins,
put together his own team of Baptist Police Detectives to pinpoint her
location. Church members were shocked to find out what really
happened to her.
August
8, 2010:
Sin Posse Seizes Fugitive Pastor Deacon Fred After Bloody Shootout in
Manitoba!
What was thought would be a speedy military engagement, turned into over
24-hours of heavy artillery combat to capture Deacon Fred. However, 7
days later, on the long journey back to Iowa on horseback, Deacon Fred
turned the Posse unto his favor. They convened with thousands of others
waiting 5-miles North of the border. Deacon Fred planned to lead his
army to rescue his wife Macel and secretary, Edna Denkins from The
Facility in North Dakota and then on further south to Freehold, Iowa
where he would take back control of the Landover Baptist Church.
August
29, 2010:
Pastors Reunite & Reconcile at Glen Beck's "Restoring Honor" Rally!
Two days before the Glen Beck rally, Brother Hardwick was able to send a
text message to Deacon Fred asking for a truce to be held in what he
believed would be forever known as a day almost as significant to
America as July 4, 1776 and December 7, 1941. Pastor Deacon Fred
and his "Army of the Lord" were nearing the Facility in North Dakota,
but he agreed to be picked up by helicopter and then flown to
Washington, DC with Rev. Pastor Hardwick.
September
5, 2010:
Child Allegedly Emasculated Is Not a Eunuch After All!
Church officials working together with the FBI, located and arrested
Elijah Gonzalez, the young boy who allegedly lit his penis on fire after
hearing Pastor Deacon Fred's sermon on May 16. Church records
revealed that Elijah's mother, Ezra Gonzalez joined Landover Baptist
Church less than a year ago.
Full details of this latest development are available through this link!
