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Weclome to Jesusland - Time Warner Books - September 2006Our New Book Has Been  Unleashed On a Sinful Nation!   
Welcome to Jesusland! is like getting an invigorating spiritual enema! Have a look inside the soon to be #1 bestselling book besides the Holy Bible on the hit list of every Liberal swine vermin infesting this once righteous and Godly nation! Please, Jesus! Let Me See!>

The Devil Now Wears SequinsBAPTIST FASHION NEWS
The Devil Now Wears Sequins!
Satan makes slut-spotting easy by tagging trailer park harlots with easy-to-spot sequins Read More!>

Bestiality Bust in Rural Iowa!BESTIALITY BUST!
Miniature Horses Lure Men Into Local Barn For Oral Sex! 
The expression "miniature horse lovers" took on a unseemly connotation in the paddocks and barns of rural Iowa this past week. Read More!>

September 2006 Church Newsletter

Reader Mail From Landover Baptist - Updated With August 2006 Mail!Reader Mail!
Authentic e-mails sent directly to our Pastor's inbox from the heartland of God's Country™  Let Me See!>

Secular Humanist Bible QuizThe Secular Humanist Bible Quiz!  
What is the Lord’s opinion of those who, after critical analysis, opt for a belief structure other than Christianity? Click Here For the Answer>

Bible Based SexBaptist Sexuality  
Understand that Satan is making your soft, inviting body HIS business!  Learn how to stop his wandering red-hot demon fingers from tickling your True Christian™ fancy! 
I Want to See More!>

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Mrs. Betty Bowers:  George W. Bush's Four Point Plan for the Middle EastMRS. BETTY BOWERS:
George W. Bush's Four Point Plan for the Middle East
Dear Brother and Sisters in Tingly Apocalyptic Anticipation... Read More>

Christian Kids Want to Know!CHRISTIAN KIDS WANNA KNOW:
Why Don't Jesus Just Zap All The Evildoers?
  I believe from the looks of things little Ralphy, you might see the "Great Zapping" (as you eager young Christians call it) in your very own lifetime..  More!>

Missionaries Remove Jewish Prayers From Wailing WallBaptist Missionaries Remove Thousands of Jewish Prayers From Wailing Wall  Own a genuine, beautifully mounted, unanswered Jewish Prayer Scroll! Full Details!>

Training in Motherhood College DegreeLandover Baptist University Announces New Advanced Degree in Motherhood!   Female graduates prepare for the rewarding role of wordless, smiling servitude in Baptist husbandry... Read More!>

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Incredible Ideas to Combat Satan on Halloween!Crashing Satan's Birthday and Ruining Halloween Join Demon Hunter, Mitch Walker, as he prepares to battle Lucifer's WICCANS on October 31st. Read More!>

Dr. Jerry Fallwell Landover Baptist SupportsRev. Jerry Falwell is NOT a Homosexual!  Help stop the rumors about Dr. Jerry Falwell! More>

Catholics and Their Blasphemous Worship of MaryLandover Baptist's Guide to Mary Worshippers  Everything you need know about those hell-bound, ring-kissing, candle-lighting, Mary worshipping, skirt-wearing Catholics!  Get Informed!>  

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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

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