In Surprise Gesture, God Damns ABC's Diane Sawyer Straight to Hell! Click Here For Full Story>

DANGEROUS TREND:
American Children Are Trying to Masturbate With Electronic Abdominal Exercise Machines!
Click Here For The Shocking Details!>

God is Furious With Widespread Use of Anti-Anxiety Medications Click Here For Full Story>

ATTENTION LANDOVER PARENTS!>
Click To Download Permission Slips For Annual Junior High Salvation Gun Retreat Deadline For Registration is March 21.

Salvacil ~ The Salvation Medication In Bookstores Now! Read This Shocking Exposť Read The E-mail Our Church Gets!



Liars Claim Jesus was an Urban Youth
The Landover Baptist Board of Deacons dispels another liberal myth.
Click Here To Learn More>

Pastor's Gun Misfires During Sermon
Full Story>

Leave Racial Profiling To the Experts Please View Immediately! The Bible vs. The Koran Safe For Kids! Please Do Not Call Us Fundamentalists CIA Unveils Secret Weapon Against Terrorists God's Ten Secrets To The Perfect War!


our christian world

National Headlines
Students Get Extra Credit For Attending Anti-Abortion Protest

Evangelists Compete For Converts In Shadow Of Mormon Church

Local Headlines
Associate Pastor Asks For Cost Of Living Increase And Is Shot In Leg At Monthly Budget Meeting
Prayers go out to Brother Hawkins who is recovering at Landover Baptist Memorial Hospital.

National Religious News
Pastor Accidentally Blasphemes Holy Spirit
A slip of the tongue sealed Pastor Gary Simpkins' eternal fate last Sunday morning, but he vows to continue preaching nevertheless. "According to Matthew 12:31, I am going to Hell and there is nothing I can do about it," he said. "I accept my fate, but I just love the Christian conservative lifestyle so darn much, I think I'll just keep on preaching."


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Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkein's sexually perverted world of midgets and cock-rings comes to the big screen!

Harry Potter Witchcraft
Monsters A Talking Testicle!
Planet of the Apes: Beastiality
Jurassic Park III: Demons, not Dinosaurs
Tomb Raider: Spitting on the Resurrection
Hannibal Delightfully Biblical!
The Grinch Satan Painted Green
Castaway A Life Without Jesus
Blair Witch 2 A Christian Movie!
The Patriot Anti-Christian Trash!
Thomas & The Magic Railroad
Dinosaur: Not for Children
Me, Myself & Satan: Demon Possession
Gladiator: Homosexual lust!
American Psycho: Bill Clinton
Man on the Moon: ...or Devil in Hell?
Toy Story 2: Satan's New Film
The Green Mile: Men, Prison, Showers
Blair Witch Project: Dora Jean Reviews
Boys Don't Cry: "Bull Dykes Don't Cry"
American Beauty: Ugly Satanic Slop
The Talented Mr. Ripley: Fine Christian Fare

CapAlert:
Christian Movie Reviews With Which We Agree

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!


Link To Our Bible Quiz Page (click here) Test your Bible knowledge by taking one of these quizzes!
God vs. Allah Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz II
How Does God Spot A Christian?
Bible Punishment Quiz II
The Bible Diet Quiz
The Bible Slavery Quiz
Bible Anagram Flash Quiz
New "test" ament Quiz
Role of Women Bible Quiz
Creation Science Quiz
New Testament Damnation Quiz
The Wrath of God Quiz
Bible Punishment Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz
What Did Jesus Say? Flash Quiz!

THE FIRST LADY'S RADIO ADDRESS!
"Before September 11, when the President or I heard people talk about 'the Middle East,' we just thought they were referring to Maryland." - Laura Bush
Click the link above to read her radio address to this Christian Nation.

Intervention!
Cognoscenti
Helms Quotes
Betty's Notes
Abortion Rumor
Bush Quotes!
Court Supremes
Church Ladies

Pray for Jenna!
LIE-berman
Laura Bush Interview
Clinton - Porn Lover
Liberals Hate
Register To Vote>
Boycott Disney

February 2002
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RECENT ADDITIONS
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