Pastor Counsels President On Alcohol Problem
"At the very least, they should have been able to come up with a better excuse for his passing out than choking on a damned pretzel!" said Pastor Deacon Fred .
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Betty Bowers Makes Sure White House Visitors Don't Slip in Pretzel Vomit
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Southern Baptist Pastors Assist Feds With Racial Profiling
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Fine Homes for Elite Christians! Browse our church news archive! This church is cell-phone friendly!

America at War:
Killing Folks Who Picked the Wrong God

Dancing In Taliban Blood!
God's 10 Secrets To The Perfect War!>

May God Damn You To Hell if You Call Us Either Fanatics or Fundamentalists!
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The Taliban Pin-Up Girl!
Take A Peek!>

Whose God is More Vicious?
Take the Quiz!>

How To Spot A Terrorist
Click Here For Details!>

America's Secret Weapon Against Wacky Islamic Fundamentalists
Read The Classified Document!>

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National Headlines
Dr. Jerry Falwell Wins Lard Eating Contest
The 75th annual American Pastor's Lard Eating Contest was held in Lynchburg Virginia on December 3rd. Dr. Jerry Falwell defeated last year's champion, Pastor John Hagee by consuming over 127lbs of hog fat in under 10 minutes. "I can do all things through God who strengthens me!" Falwell said, as he wiped his huge chin with an entire roll of paper towels. While this was not a personal record for Dr. Falwell, it was enough to win the competition.

Youths Jailed For Mocking Bush
Funeral services for Tommy Jenkins, 14, Billy Gordon, 17, and Rick Williams, 16, will be held this Sunday in the tractor shed. They had been apprehended on Tuesday for making unsavory remarks about President Bush. All three died in Landover Baptist Jail at approximately five minutes after midnight on Wednesday of natural causes and were immediately cremated.

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Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkein's sexually perverted world of midgets and cock-rings comes to the big screen!

Harry Potter Witchcraft
Monsters A Talking Testicle!
Planet of the Apes: Beastiality
Jurassic Park III: Demons, not Dinosaurs
Tomb Raider: Spitting on the Resurrection
Hannibal Delightfully Biblical!
The Grinch Satan Painted Green
Castaway A Life Without Jesus
Blair Witch 2 A Christian Movie!
The Patriot Anti-Christian Trash!
Thomas & The Magic Railroad
Dinosaur: Not for Children
Me, Myself & Satan: Demon Possession
Gladiator: Homosexual lust!
American Psycho: Bill Clinton
Man on the Moon: ...or Devil in Hell?
Toy Story 2: Satan's New Film
The Green Mile: Men, Prison, Showers
Blair Witch Project: Dora Jean Reviews
Boys Don't Cry: "Bull Dykes Don't Cry"
American Beauty: Ugly Satanic Slop
The Talented Mr. Ripley: Fine Christian Fare

Christian Movie Reviews With Which We Agree

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

Link To Our Bible Quiz Page (click here) Test your Bible knowledge by taking one of these quizzes!
God vs. Allah Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz II
How Does God Spot A Christian?
Bible Punishment Quiz II
The Bible Diet Quiz
The Bible Slavery Quiz
Bible Anagram Flash Quiz
New "test" ament Quiz
Role of Women Bible Quiz
Creation Science Quiz
New Testament Damnation Quiz
The Wrath of God Quiz
Bible Punishment Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz
What Did Jesus Say? Flash Quiz!

"Before September 11, when the President or I heard people talk about 'the Middle East,' we just thought they were referring to Maryland." - Laura Bush
Click the link above to read her radio address to this Christian Nation.

Helms Quotes
Betty's Notes
Abortion Rumor
Bush Quotes!
Court Supremes
Church Ladies

Pray for Jenna!
Laura Bush Interview
Clinton - Porn Lover
Liberals Hate
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