Martha Stewart Leaves K-Mart: Opens Christian Body Parts Store
"True Christians are told by Jesus that if any body part might cause them to sin, it is best that they cut it off," says Ms. Stewart. "And as more people turn to Christ, the prosthetics business will be booming!" From The Wall Street Journal>

900 Pound Pastor Preaches From Bed Called to glorify God through a mobility impaired ministry.
Read More!>

Take Part 2 of The Wrath of God Quiz! The First Lady's Message The Baby Jesus Blowout! Get A Heart On For Jesus!

America at War:
Killing Folks Who Picked the Wrong God

Dancing In Taliban Blood!
God's 10 Secrets To The Perfect War!>

America's Secret Weapon Against Wacky Islamic Fundamentalists
Read The Classified Document!>

May God Damn You To Hell if You Call Us Either Fanatics or Fundamentalists!
Click Here For Full Story!>

The Taliban Pin-Up Girl!
Take A Peek!>

Whose God is More Vicious?
Take the Quiz!>

How To Spot A Terrorist
Click Here For Details!>

Southern Baptist Pastors Assist US Government With Racial Profiling
From The Washington Times>

Pastor Counsels President on Alcohol Problem
Read The Full Story>

Operation Mandatory Patriotic Tattoo
From the Whitehouse>

Betty Bowers Keeps Whitehouse Visitors From Slipping in Pretzel and Beer Vomit
Get the Full Story!>

our christian world

National Headlines
Soulwinning Parrot Plans 24-City Crusade
Eager followers who adhere to a fasting diet of water and crackers were excited to hear that "Willie" the soulwinning parrot was planning another tour. "He led me to Jesus four years ago," said one young Christian. "My youth pastor is going to drive us all to Des Moines to see him in June." Willie will be preaching at Landover Baptist on Sunday, June 16. After resting for three days, he will be conduct a Bible that Wednesday and will also hold a private meeting with pastors and deacons on Thursday.

Local Headlines
Pastor Accidentally Blasphemes Holy Spirit
A slip of the tongue sealed Pastor Gary Simpkins' eternal fate last Sunday morning, but he vows to continue preaching nevertheless. "According to Matthew 12:31, I am going to Hell and there is nothing I can do about it," he said. "I accept my fate, but I just love the Christian conservative lifestyle so darn much, I think I'll just keep on preaching."

Protecting America's Children From Catholic Priests
A week long seminar will be held at the Landover Baptist Vine Center in early February. We'll hear testimony from young people who have been molested by Catholic Priests. We will also hear from state officials, law enforcement, ex-pedophiles, and True Christian® Pastors as they discuss ways to protect children from Catholic Priests and the buggering dens they call "Churches."

Sign Up Now!

Lord of the Rings
J.R.R. Tolkein's sexually perverted world of midgets and cock-rings comes to the big screen!

Harry Potter Witchcraft
Monsters A Talking Testicle!
Planet of the Apes: Beastiality
Jurassic Park III: Demons, not Dinosaurs
Tomb Raider: Spitting on the Resurrection
Hannibal Delightfully Biblical!
The Grinch Satan Painted Green
Castaway A Life Without Jesus
Blair Witch 2 A Christian Movie!
The Patriot Anti-Christian Trash!
Thomas & The Magic Railroad
Dinosaur: Not for Children
Me, Myself & Satan: Demon Possession
Gladiator: Homosexual lust!
American Psycho: Bill Clinton
Man on the Moon: ...or Devil in Hell?
Toy Story 2: Satan's New Film
The Green Mile: Men, Prison, Showers
Blair Witch Project: Dora Jean Reviews
Boys Don't Cry: "Bull Dykes Don't Cry"
American Beauty: Ugly Satanic Slop
The Talented Mr. Ripley: Fine Christian Fare

Christian Movie Reviews With Which We Agree

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

Link To Our Bible Quiz Page (click here) Test your Bible knowledge by taking one of these quizzes!
God vs. Allah Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz II
How Does God Spot A Christian?
Bible Punishment Quiz II
The Bible Diet Quiz
The Bible Slavery Quiz
Bible Anagram Flash Quiz
New "test" ament Quiz
Role of Women Bible Quiz
Creation Science Quiz
New Testament Damnation Quiz
The Wrath of God Quiz
Bible Punishment Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz
What Did Jesus Say? Flash Quiz!

"Before September 11, when the President or I heard people talk about 'the Middle East,' we just thought they were referring to Maryland." - Laura Bush
Click the link above to read her radio address to this Christian Nation.

Helms Quotes
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Abortion Rumor
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