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Sex-Free Bible Spurs Controversy
"If we are going to create a Bible that is appropriate for children, we'll end up with something
roughly the size of a theater program!" steamed Brother Hardwick.
Read the Full Story>
HOMOSEXUAL REPARATIVE:
Lisping Surgery
Does your child have a "Fairy Lisp?" If so, he's probably made secret pact with Satan to become a prancing homo.
Thankfully, our Godly doctors now have a procedure in place to repair that.
Read the Full Story>
Operation Rescue Agrees to Expel Al Qaeda Trainees
Get the Whole Story!>
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LOCAL FARMING ALERT!
Demon Possessed Chickens!
It seems like the Devil's got a foothold on the month of June as local farmers struggle to earn a living while
Satan just sits back and has fun.
Read the Full Story>
United States Dept. of Faith:
President Asks Jesus For Advice on Israel
No U.S. decision will be made without a cursory review of relevant Bible Prophecies.
Read the Full Story>
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National Headlines
Investigators Locate Priest With No Molestation Past
A team of Vatican investigators reported last week that they have located a U.S. priest who has never been accused of molesting parishioners. Father Dick Abstentia of Nonads, Utah has presided over his parish for 37 years with no complaint of sexual abuse. Protestant analysts were quick to note that this may be due to the fact that Abstentia was born without genitals.
Local Headlines
Five Children Die in First Week of Landover Vacation Bible School.
"These youngsters were chock-full of toxic little demons," said Pastor
Deacon Fred. "We tried to save them from themselves, but, all in all, they
are truly better off dead. I send out my condolences, but remind all
parents that, regardless of the circumstance, Vacation Bible School tuition
is not refundable."
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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons.
If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed
on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!
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THE FIRST LADY'S RADIO ADDRESS!
"Before September 11, when the President or I heard people talk about 'the Middle East,' we just thought they were referring to Maryland."
- Laura Bush
Click the link
above to read her radio address to this Christian Nation.
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