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The List of Banned Christmas Gifts for 2008 - All NEW!BANNED CHRISTMAS TOYS!  Lucifer's Toy Chest is chock full of seductive smut for kids of all ages, including, the Gay Try-Out Chair, Guitar Hero: Satan's World Tour, and more secular filth to avoid! NATIONAL HOLIDAY ACTION ALERT!>

Jesus Orders Baptist Children to Kill Santa ClausWAR ON CHRISTMAS:
Angry Mob of Baptist Children Attack Santa Claus Outside Local Mall 
"Our Christian kids are taught that Jesus is the reason for the season! Santa should have his fat red butt on high alert if he plans to visit Freehold, Iowa this year! Shout Glory!"  Pastor Deacon Fred told reporters  Full Story!>

Teenage Girl Attempts Suicide After Seeing the Movie, Twilight!Lonely Teenage Girls Love Vampires More Than Jesus!   
"This movie preys on little unwanted girls, who can count the number of friends they have on one finger! And this is just plain sad!" Says Pastor.    Full Story!>

Guess Who Wants Kids to Sit on His Lap at the Landover Mall? Say "No" to Santa and seal your verbal commitment to Jesus Christ with a framed photograph for only $48.99!  Click Here!> Have Your Child's Picture Taken on Jesus' Lap at Our Christian Mall! Say "No" to Santa and seal your verbal commitment to Jesus Christ with a framed photograph for only $48.99!  Click Here!>  

The List of Questions From American Christian Children For  Barack ObamaRepublican Kids Say the Darndest Things About Barack Obama! "Daddy says the Rappers are going to come and rap my mommy!"  Questions From Kids!> 

Click to Read the Action Alert: Tiny Green Penis Found on Grinch Toy!Tiny Green Penis Found on Grinch Toy! 
Homosexuals at Disney attack a Christian family in Iowa by carefully placing a penis between the hairy green legs of a Grinch doll! EMERGENCY ACTION ALERT!>

Christmas Memories at Landover Baptist - Dozens of Wonderful Christian Christmas Stories of Salvation and RepentanceHow to Tell Your Child that Santa is Really Satan!  Learn your Godly children the truth about Santa Claus! Do unsaved kids deserve any gifts on Jesus' Birthday? 
Get Informed!>

The Landover Baptist Christmas Quiz!Does God Approve of Our Yuletide Rituals? Take out your Bible to find the shocking answers to our holiday Christmas Quiz! Quiz!>

Betty Bowers Political CommentarySister Betty Bowers' Blog Commentary
Visit the Blog of America's Best Christian for the latest Godly commentary. Visit Betty's Blog>

Reader Mail From Landover BaptistReader Mail!
100% Genuine E-mails sent to Landover Baptist from concerned Christian citizens. Read!>

Shop at your favorite church - Landover Baptist for the Holidays and help Jesus help us to deliver True Christian™ news for another Godly Year!

Christian Checklist to Spotting FaggotryChristian Checklist to Spotting Faggotry!  The winner of a Baptist College writing contest shares 10 homo detection signs. Read!>

Naked Miley Cyrus is Satan's Favorite Pied Piper Slut!Naked Miley Cyrus is Satan's Favorite Pied Piper Slut!  Signs your precious teenage daughter is becoming a Cyrus slut. Read>

Why Did Jesus Give the Injuns Tiny Tallywhackers?CHRISTIAN KIDS WANNA KNOW:
Why Did Jesus Give the
Injuns Tiny Tallywhackers?  Just in time for Thanksgiving, Pastor answers an important question from a concerned Baptist child.  Find Out Why!> 

Why Christians Shouldn't Care About the EnvironmentWhat Can Christians Do to Help Increase Global Warming?  The faster Earth heats up, the quicker Jesus will return! Glory!  More>

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Baptists For Republican Faith!  Praise Jesus!  
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Brother Reuben's Favorite Wiccan Cook Up Recipes!   
How to Cook a Wiccan>

Meet Sister in Christ, Sarah Palin!   
Find Out How!>

Imagine a World Without Liberals!   
Discuss and Hope!>  


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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

If you are interested in getting saved, and you are not joking around about it just to upset us, we ask you kindly to click on this link and we'll help you get started on processing your eternal security certification right away!

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