Church Relaxes Negro Admittance Policy
Pigmentation tests and special seating arrangements now available! Find out More!>

Canadian Witch Expelled Before Cheering Congregation! As Mrs. Newberry and her children made their way out of the building in tears, the congregation started a raucous cheer of "Go USA!" Read More>

Pray the Pledge of Allegiance in School and Testify for Jesus! Always end with "A-men!" See how fast it catches on! Full Story>

Landover Elementary Redeems 50 Sudanese Slaves, Turns a Handy Profit
A story of True Christian™ love in action!
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Leave Racial Profiling To the Experts Please View Immediately! The Bible vs. The Koran Safe For Kids! Please Do Not Call Us Fundamentalists CIA Unveils Secret Weapon Against Terrorists God's Ten Secrets To The Perfect War!

Harry Potter is Driving Children Insane!
Evening prayer vigils and book burnings held every evening until further notice. Get Involved!>

Can Star Trek Help Us Understand Muslims?
Is the Klingon species modeled after the filthy Arab race? Learn More!>

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Jerry Falwell Devotes His Life To Homosexuality

On Wednesday, Reverend Falwell announced that he is joining Louis P. Sheldon of the Traditional Values Coalition in devoting 100% of his time to thinking about men licking each other. "Frankly," said an enraged, and somewhat engorged Falwell, "thanks to the success of this cotton-picking Homosexual Agenda, not only do we have homo bishops, it's gotten to be the point where I can't do anything without thinking about hot, hairy man-sex. Just last Sunday, I had gone a whole five minutes without thinking about an invitingly turgid African penis waving within inches of my nose, and what do you know? I found myself at Shoney's breakfast buffet staring down at all those hot, moist, brown sausage links. Well, we all know how that ended. I had to grab a napkin and excuse myself to the restroom while my meal got cold. I tell you, I've had it with homos ruining decent, normal people's lives -- and meals!"

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Finding Nemo
A young fish boy runs away from home after finding out his daddy is a flopping homosexual!

The Matrix Reloaded A Christian World?
Bruce Almighty God Doesn't Clown Around!
The Two Towers Homo Hobbits
Daredevil No Shame!
Scooby Doo Occult Lessons
Ice Age A Secular Lie!
Harry Potter Witchcraft
Monsters A Talking Testicle!
Planet of the Apes: Beastiality
Jurassic Park III: Demons, not Dinosaurs
Tomb Raider: Spitting on the Resurrection
Hannibal Delightfully Biblical!
The Grinch Satan Painted Green
Castaway A Life Without Jesus
Blair Witch 2 A Christian Movie!
The Patriot Anti-Christian Trash!
Thomas & The Magic Railroad
Dinosaur: Not for Children
Gladiator: Homosexual lust!
American Psycho: Bill Clinton
Man on the Moon: ...or Devil in Hell?
Toy Story 2: Satan's New Film
The Green Mile: Men, Prison, Showers
Blair Witch Project: Dora Jean Reviews
Boys Don't Cry: "Bull Dykes Don't Cry"
American Beauty: Ugly Satanic Slop
The Talented Mr. Ripley: Fine Christian Fare

Christian Movie Reviews With Which We Agree

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!

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Role of Women Bible Quiz
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New Testament Damnation Quiz
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Bible Punishment Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz
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On January 20, 2001, President George W. Bush signed an executive order establishing the United States Department of Faith (DOF). Headed by Mr. Bush's and God's favorite church
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