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Moviegoers Beware! The Two Towers is Homo Slang For Erect Hobbit Penises
Fairy lover and smut peddler, J.R.R. Tolkien's perverted fantasy of hobbit lust arrives just in time to spoil everyone's Christmas.
Read This Important Review!>
Should Unsaved People Be Allowed to Celebrate Christmas?
Sure! If they want to go straight to Hell, let them go right ahead.
Learn More>
God Says, "Filthy, Unclean, Menstruating Women!"
A Free Guide to Biblical Terminology!
Get Your Copy Here!>
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NATIONAL NEWS
Gallup Poll Indicates Americans Only Hear About Jesus 48 Times a Day
Recent poll results indicate that Americans are only exposed 48 times a day to the Christian message that God loves them, but if they don’t love Him back, He is going to burn them in Hell forever. "48 times a day is not nearly enough exposure," Christian Conversion Specialist, Judy O'Christian argues. "We need to hit these libruls with the message of Jesus' Love, and tell them He'll send them to hell if they don't convert, at least once every ten minutes! If you don't do it constantly, sometimes for hours at a time, they'll start believing silly stories about "science," and so-called, "logic." God wants us to convict these sinners 24/7!"
Landover Baptist Pastor, Deacon Fred comments, "I understand there might be several hundred million people left in China and India who have never heard of Jesus. That could be what is holding up the second coming of Christ. I just wish more Americans were called to be overseas missionaries, but apparently God is calling most of us to leisurly await His return until these lazy good-for-nothing missionaries open up their demon-clogged ears to His calling and get over there to win Him some slanty eyed souls!"
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We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons.
If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed
on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!
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THE WHITE HOUSE DEPARTMENT OF FAITH
On January 20, 2001, President George W. Bush signed an executive order establishing the United States Department of Faith (DOF). Headed by
Mr. Bush's and God's favorite church
Click Here To Learn More.
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