Moviegoers Beware! The Two Towers is Homo Slang For Erect Hobbit Penises
Fairy lover and smut peddler, J.R.R. Tolkien's perverted fantasy of hobbit lust arrives just in time to spoil everyone's Christmas. Read This Important Review!>

Should Unsaved People Be Allowed to Celebrate Christmas?
Sure! If they want to go straight to Hell, let them go right ahead. Learn More>

God Says, "Filthy, Unclean, Menstruating Women!" A Free Guide to Biblical Terminology! Get Your Copy Here!>

The Disgusting Truth About Santa Claus! Kwaanza - Ghetto Slang For MURDER! Heather's Health Tips From the Bible! Grab Your Holiday Gifts!



The Perfect Prayer
Only Available Here!>

A Bible Based Diet of Urine Saved My Son Read More!>

Important Holiday Links
Hanukkah:  Jews Celebrating Christ's Murder
Sister Taffy's Holiday Memories
Colored Baby Jesus Shocks Church Goers
Tiny Penis Found on Grinch Doll!
Free Landover Holiday Gift Tags!
Santa Claus Did Not Die For Your Sins!

Leave Racial Profiling To the Experts Please View Immediately! The Bible vs. The Koran Safe For Kids! Please Do Not Call Us Fundamentalists CIA Unveils Secret Weapon Against Terrorists God's Ten Secrets To The Perfect War!

A Christmas Newsletter From America's Best Christian
Get it here!>

our christian world

NATIONAL NEWS

Gallup Poll Indicates Americans Only Hear About Jesus 48 Times a Day

Recent poll results indicate that Americans are only exposed 48 times a day to the Christian message that God loves them, but if they donít love Him back, He is going to burn them in Hell forever. "48 times a day is not nearly enough exposure," Christian Conversion Specialist, Judy O'Christian argues. "We need to hit these libruls with the message of Jesus' Love, and tell them He'll send them to hell if they don't convert, at least once every ten minutes! If you don't do it constantly, sometimes for hours at a time, they'll start believing silly stories about "science," and so-called, "logic." God wants us to convict these sinners 24/7!"

Landover Baptist Pastor, Deacon Fred comments, "I understand there might be several hundred million people left in China and India who have never heard of Jesus. That could be what is holding up the second coming of Christ. I just wish more Americans were called to be overseas missionaries, but apparently God is calling most of us to leisurly await His return until these lazy good-for-nothing missionaries open up their demon-clogged ears to His calling and get over there to win Him some slanty eyed souls!"

Sign Up Now!


Scooby Doo
Is Hollywood Using A Saturday Morning Cartoon Series As Bait To Lure Christian Children Into Signing a Contract With Satan? Quite simply, The Answer is Yes.

Ice Age A Secular Lie!
Harry Potter Witchcraft
Monsters A Talking Testicle!
Planet of the Apes: Beastiality
Jurassic Park III: Demons, not Dinosaurs
Tomb Raider: Spitting on the Resurrection
Hannibal Delightfully Biblical!
The Grinch Satan Painted Green
Castaway A Life Without Jesus
Blair Witch 2 A Christian Movie!
The Patriot Anti-Christian Trash!
Thomas & The Magic Railroad
Dinosaur: Not for Children
Me, Myself & Satan: Demon Possession
Gladiator: Homosexual lust!
American Psycho: Bill Clinton
Man on the Moon: ...or Devil in Hell?
Toy Story 2: Satan's New Film
The Green Mile: Men, Prison, Showers
Blair Witch Project: Dora Jean Reviews
Boys Don't Cry: "Bull Dykes Don't Cry"
American Beauty: Ugly Satanic Slop
The Talented Mr. Ripley: Fine Christian Fare

CapAlert:
Christian Movie Reviews With Which We Agree

We have a permanent injunction against all unsaved persons. If you are unsaved, you are not allowed within a 10-mile radius of our church, nor are you allowed on this website. Kindly leave, and be about the Devil's business, for you are not welcome here. Glory!


Link To Our Bible Quiz Page (click here) Test your Bible knowledge by taking one of these quizzes!

God's Favorite Ways To Kill
7 Real Deadly Sins Quiz
The Bible Fact Quiz
The License to Sin Quiz
The Wrath of God Quiz II
God vs. Allah Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz II
How Does God Spot A Christian?
Bible Punishment Quiz II
The Bible Diet Quiz
The Bible Slavery Quiz
Bible Anagram Flash Quiz
New "test" ament Quiz
Role of Women Bible Quiz
Creation Science Quiz
New Testament Damnation Quiz
The Wrath of God Quiz
Bible Punishment Quiz
Bible Sex Quiz
What Did Jesus Say? Flash Quiz!

THE WHITE HOUSE DEPARTMENT OF FAITH
On January 20, 2001, President George W. Bush signed an executive order establishing the United States Department of Faith (DOF). Headed by Mr. Bush's and God's favorite church
Click Here To Learn More.

Intervention!
Cognoscenti
Helms Quotes
Betty's Notes
Patriot Tattoo
Bush Quotes!
Pray & Lead
AIDS Muppet!

Patriot Registration!
Spy on Liberals
Laura Bush Interview
Terrorist Reading List
Bush Halfway House
Register To Vote>
Operation Purity

November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
What's New?
Full News Archive


Search Landover Baptist:


About landoverbaptist.com | Advertising information | Help/Feedback
Join Us | Terms of Service | Plan Of Salvation | News Archives | Read The Mail We Get