1999 Archive

1999 Newsletter Archive

December 1999
Happy Hawny'ka To Those Who Killed Our Savior
The Repulsive Disgusting Truth About Santa Claus
Colored Baby Jesus Shocks, Kills Two White Church Members
God's People Juggle Christmas Shopping Rush With Imminent Apocalyptic Blood Bath
Japs Declare War On USA, Use Pokemon To Launch First Strike
Green Mile Added To Road To Hell
Taffy's Christmas Holiday Tips
Christians Eager To Receive Mark of Cross on Hand or Forehead
Kwaanza: Ghetto For Murder!
For $50 We Will Burn Your Debt!
Childrens Christian Art Show Winners
Landover Ladies Vote To Cancel Dr. Laura's Speaking Engagement

November 1999
Harry Potter Book Burning To Be Held On East Lawn
Hog Roast To Be Held In Honor Of Recently Converted Jews
Injuns Told To Stay Away From Thanksgiving Festivites
Convert To Christ Before Year 2000 & Receive Free PCS Digital Phone
Satan's New Film: Toy Story 2
Demon Hunter, Mitch Walker, Traps 3 1/2 Inch Succubus
Uppity Negro Falsely Accuses Church of 'Racisism'
Age Of Allowatory Masturbation Raised To 65
Platinum Wings Tithers Dinner To Be Held Mrs. Bowers' Estate In Ravello Italy
Thanks To Our Efforts Millions Will Starve To Death, Knowing Christ as Savior!
Y2K Christian Survival Kits Contain Bible, Suit Coat, Tie and Firearm

October 1999
Pokémon? Poké Yourself Satan!
Satan Wins Again At The Box Office: Blair Witch Project Review
Trick Or Tract? Jesus Halloween Costumes Put Fear Of God Into Heathen Kiddies!
10 Year Old Sissy Caught Playing With Dolls!
Pastor Offers Taco Bell Value Meal As Peace Offering To Church Attacking Latinos
Landover To Use Real Corpses In Halloween Hell House!
Satan Calls Another Kennedy To Hell
62 Year Old Woman Births Miracle Baby!
Landover Aquires 1/4 Of Iowa

September 1999
Tampons:  Satan's Little Cotton Fingers
George Lucas Creates Jar Jar Sex Candy Training Device For Kids
Ricky Martin's Music Gets Girls Pregnant
Effeminate Man Asked To Leave 11am Service
Pastor's Chair Replaced With Gold Throne
18.2% Tithe: Credit Card Offering Plates
He Shot A Man Dead For Mocking Jesus

August 1999:
Children Use 7ft Jar Jar Binks Dolls As Masturbation Toys
Born Again Nazi To Administer Church Labor Camp
Church Softball Game Goes Bad
Three Dead, Two Injured In Christian Strong Man Crusade
Handicapped and Other Trouble Makers Will Use Separate Facility
Two Hour Sermon Leaves Congregation Counting Sheep
Church Split Over Opinions Regarding Piano Bench

July 1999:
Homosexual Featured In Oxygen Ad: Church Members Encouraged To Stop Breathing
Holy Ghost Haunts Old Mansion
Catholics Target And Hack Landover Homepage
Landover's Declaration Of Discrimination
He Made St. Paul Look Like A Sissy: Goodbye To A Missionary Great
Stage Gives Way Under Weight Of 700lb Pastor

June 1999:
Landover Youths Smash Statues Of Mary At Local Catholic Churches
Landover Shuts Down Poppy Dixon's Adult Christianity Site
46 Church Members Accidentaly Stone A Man To Death
Landover Baptist Gun Store Opens Its Doors To The Public
Solid Gold Calf Placed In Main Sanctuary
Christian Kids Encouraged To Quit School For Homeschooling Are Children Program
Discovery In Church Playground Leaves Members Traumatized

May 1999:
To Tempt Baptist Boys, Catholic Girls Lose Skirts in Favor of Lewd Attire
Preparations Underway For Upcoming Levitical Law Week
Migrant Workers Arrive By the Suitcase Full To Begin Work On Multi-Temple
Meet Ms Anne Thrope, Winner Of Our 2nd Annual Personal Testimony Contest
Gays and Liberals Upset Over Our Closed Door Policy On Sinners
Computer Experts Reveal A Digital Image Of What Christ Would Look Like Today.
April 1999:
Ex-Nun Gives Spine Tingling Testimony of Atrocities Suffered in Catholic Convent
Plans Underway for $15 Million Landover All-Purpose Multi Temple
Talking Parrot Wins 2,000 Souls, Asks Only For Cracker in Return
In Horrifying Conclusion to Sermon on Hell, Pastor HR Stone Lights Self on Fire
Bass Fisherman For The Lord Nets Souls and 15pt Red Bass.

Further Back

1996 - March 1999 - Archived Offline

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